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Welcome to Trailer Hitch, BOP's look at the latest movie trailers to hit the Internet. This week: Tilda Swinton steals innocent children, Michael Cera's awkward demeanor woos the ladies and Rob Zombie's Halloween sequel looks impressive.

Julia – Opens May 8th

Inspired by John Cassavetes' film, Gloria, Julia stars Tilda Swinton in a different kind of movie we're not used to seeing her in. Here, she plays title character Julia, a party animal who decides the best choice of action in turning her life around after losing her job and money is to start kidnapping kids and earning some green for her participation. All right.

The movie's premise reminds me a bit of Frozen River, where in both cases you've got a strong female lead who's looking to make ends meet by performing some (very) illegal activity. After watching the trailer, however, it's obvious to me that Frozen River is the superior film. This one is clunky and monotonous.

Julia made its debut way back at the Berlin International Film Festival in February 2008. After opening in France a month later, the flick finally gets its U.S. bow in about a week and a half.

Grade: D

Also expected to be released on this date: Star Trek XI, Little Ashes, Rudo y Cursi

Downloading Nancy – Opens June 5th

Says a reviewer from Ain't It Cool News about Maria Bello's latest movie, Downloading Nancy: "This is, quite frankly, the most disturbing movie I've ever seen." In a way, I can see what is being referred to, given that Bello's character, Nancy, wishes to off herself from another wounded soul she met on the Internet, only to fall in love with the person she hired to kill her.

Given the subject matter, Downloading Nancy isn't one of those movies you'll be lining up to see at your local Cineplex. Call me crazy, but assisted suicides generally fall under the rental category. Even so, the performances are strong in the one. The trailer shows promise that Downloading Nancy could actually be fairly good.

Grade: B-

Also expected to be released on this date: Land of the Lost, The Hangover, My Life in Ruins, Away We Go

Paper Heart – Opens August 7th

"Combining elements of documentary and traditional storytelling, reality and fantasy PAPER HEART brings a fresh perspective to the modern romance and redefines the classic love story."

So PR-y you could gag, right? Well, not quite.

Paper Heart's logline marks one of the very few times where I've been moved to just insert the thing in this column verbatim. Here, Charlyne Yi plays herself, embarking on a cross-country road trip to learn a thing or two about the one thing she doesn't believe in: love. Along the way, she falls for the real Michael Cera, who in the movie is playing himself.

It's a rather creative way in telling a story we haven't really seen before.

Grade: A-

Also expected to be released on this date: G.I. Joe, Shorts, When in Rome

Shorts – Opens August 7th

Robert Rodriguez returns to his Spy Kids roots with Shorts, a kids movie about a young boy who is granted wishes for practically anything he asks for after happening upon a rainbow-colored rock. Being kidvid, I couldn't exactly get into the absurdity of the premise nor Shorts' dull jokes. However, I predict after seeing this movie, a ton of young ones will find rocks in their backyards, paint them all different colors and reenact what they just saw on screen.

The child stars in this thing are mostly no names, though the adult cast isn't anything to sneeze at. Jon Cryer, Leslie Mann, William H. Macy, James Spader, Jimmy Bennett and Kat Dennings star, among others.

Grade: C

Also expected to be released on this date: G.I. Joe, Paper Heart, When in Rome

H2: Halloween 2 – Opens August 28th

Rob Zombie's reimagining of John Carpenter's Halloween series keeps getting darker with each new release. H2: Halloween 2 doesn't sell itself as a cheap knockoff thriller, but rather an intense thriller. And its aesthetics are impressive enough. Knowing it's a Michael Myers movie only adds to its buzz.

Unlike the sequel to the original Halloween, Zombie's H2 focuses on Laurie's perspective, and how she's coping with the traumatic events that ended the 2007 update. Having a maniac killer out for your blood would put a damper on anyone's day. It only makes sense for Laurie to struggle to accept and deal with that very fact.

Not sure why I hadn't bothered with Halloween when it was released two years ago. I'm a fan of the franchise, and shamefully admit I've seen every title in the series, save for Zombie's piece and 2002's Halloween: Resurrection. Given H2's violent, yet "artistic" quality (as far as horror films are concerned), I don't think checking this one out would be a bad idea.

Grade: B+

Also expected to be released on this date: Final Destination: Death Trap 3D, Tyrannosaurus Rex, The Boat That Rocked