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Welcome to Trailer Hitch, BOP's look at the latest movie trailers to hit the Internet. This week: The Saw guys actually make a movie without Tobin Bell, Peter Jackson trades Frodo for aliens and Madea can just never have enough screen time.

The Collector – Opens July 31st

I'd more sooner have myself a Saw I-VI marathon than go out and see this pathetic piece of horror garbage, a film intended to be a Saw prequel before producers stepped in and said audiences wouldn't want that sort of thing. (Because honestly, Saw-philes have class!).

The Collector, penned by the writers of the last two Saw movies – and the next one that's coming up in a couple of months – is about an ex-con who breaks into an empty house with every intention of robbing a safe. To his surprise, a masked killer, lurking in the shadows, has already laid claim to the space and invites his new friend into the home to test his agility in escaping a number of lethal traps. (Wait a tick, that sounds nothing like Saw!).

For its unoriginality, and, well, its inability to spook me one bit, I've gladly filed this one in the there's-no-way-in-hell-I'd-ever-go-see-this-and-Funny-People-comes-out-the-same-weekend-anyway file.

Grade: D

District 9 – Opens August 14th

District 9 will attempt to piggyback off the success of the Transformers movie franchise with a film co-starring a bunch of machine-like robo-aliens confined to a tiny area within Johannesburg, South Africa. No doubt a loose commentary on race relations in the city, District 9 is produced by Peter Jackson and directed by Neill Blomkamp, who also helmed the short film this one's based off of.

The movie focuses on a turf war between humans and aliens when word spreads that earthlings have been restricting where the aliens can go after they've spent nearly 30 years in Africa with a sole desire to return home – wherever that is. The aliens craft an unsuspecting weapon and BANG! It's on.

When you first catch a glimpse at what the humans are up against, you can't help but feel like this one looks a little silly. The robo-alien speaks in its native tongue, with subtitles generously letting us know what s/he is trying to tell us. But then the movie redeems itself when the plot thickens, with aliens fighting back after years of mistreatment.

Grade: C+

White On Rice – Opens September 4th

White On Rice is an awkward comedy about a freshly divorced, 40-year-old man whose bunking it up with his sister's ten-year-old son while he sorts out why life has handed him a funky deck of cards. Surprisingly, Will Ferrell doesn't star in this one – though it's certainly right up his alley – but Hiroshi Watanabe. An all-Asian cast rounds out the rest of White On Rice's key players, including James Kyson Lee from NBC's Heroes.

The trailer is charming. Yet there's something about it that just doesn't work. I think it's the timing, in which the characters – notably Watanabe – tell jokes and then wait around uncomfortably for the laughs, as if our approval is needed before the trailer can continue.

Grade: C

I Can Do Bad All By Myself – Opens September 11th

Tyler Perry hasn't crafted a dud yet. I mean, Daddy's Little Girls grossed just $31 million. But against a budget of $10 million it was in the black by the time it exited theaters. (And that, my friends, was one of his poorer performances). In comparison, I Can Do Bad All By Myself returns Perry to his bread and butter – namely his wildly popular Madea character surrounded by a horde of acting talent. This time s/he's got Academy Award nominee Taraji P. Henson, Mary J. Blige and Gladys Knight, among others.

Not sure why, but I've yet to see a single Tyler Perry film. (Or TV show, though House of Payne and Meet the Browns will continue to go unwatched by me). But yet again, I've seen yet another movie trailer that I respond to. Maybe I Can Do Bad All By Myself will buck the trend.

In it, Henson stars as April, a heavy-drinking nightclub singer who is handed an extra bit of responsibility when Madea (Perry) hands off 16-year-old Jennifer and her two younger brothers to her. April wants nothing to do with the tykes, but has a change of heart when she finds herself in the middle of making a number of big life choices.

Grade: B

I Love You Phillip Morris – Opens February 12th, 2010

When I first heard about this project, and eventually got around to reviewing its synopsis, I never expected the thing to be so... funny.

Yet why not? I Love You Phillip Morris stars the same guy who got his tongue frozen to a ski lift about a decade and a half ago. I guess I figured the flick would be more Man on the Moon/Majestic Carrey than earthquake check/"Your boobs are huge" Carrey.

Here, the comedian plays real life con artist Steven Jay Russell, who accepts the fact that he's gay following the tragic events of a near-fatal car wreck. While in prison, Russell gets chummy with his cell mate, Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor). Morris is a more reserved homosexual and is eventually released from the Big House, leading Russell to escape from jail on multiple occasions to be with him. (Apparently somebody's been watching Prison Break).

Props to Carrey (and hell, McGregor) for seeking out new film material. Sometimes chasing new genres lead to unfortunate results (The Number 23). Yet other times it gets you some new award hardware. Too bad this one's opening in February and not in peak Oscar season.

Grade: A