What's Next
By Michael Lynderey
March 16, 2010
A sequel for your thoughts?
This week's news: more of the same. And while I hate to wallow in sequels and reboots, I work with what I'm given, and they're a little more interesting to write about than, say, the latest star vehicle for Tracy Morgan (that'll be called ID Theft, and it's about this guy who finds someone else's credit card, and then there are these gangsters he owes money to, and there's also this life lesson, see...)
* Alien 3D - It's, uh, a prequel, this time, with Ridley Scott back at the helm. No other details yet, but no one believed them when they said they'd make another Predator movie, and look what happened there.
* Alvin and the Chipmunks 3D - I know, I know, I'm being incalculably redundant in telling you that another Chipmunks movie is coming, but someone has to do it. The whole thing really boils down to math: Chipmunks one and two both grossed exactly $217 million (yes, each), so why not another go-around to see if we can make it an uneven three? Release date's December 16, 2011, so be sure to get your affairs in order.
* Big Momma's House 3 - Isn't it funny how these franchises just live on through the years, like boats beating against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past? (that's what a famous man once wrote about Big Momma's House 2). Brandon T. Jackson, he who have provideth comic relief in both Tropic Thunder and Percy Jackson, has just been nabbed to co-star with Martin Lawrence in the third trip into that oversized matriarchal domain up the hill - and indeed, both Lawrence and Jackson will be dressing up as characters of a gender not quite their own. Why, you may ask, would anyone want to do that? That's the question that went through my mind when Big Momma's House 2 finished with $70 million back in January 2006, so those who allowed that to happen have only themselves to blame. It's all too bad, because I like Martin Lawrence, and would hope to see him in more roles that do not primarily involve wearing gobbles of latex and gore.
* Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules - Great title, I'll give them that, and I have a real affinity for sequels announced before the film they're a-sequelin' is even released. Anyway, if the apparently much-anticipated Wimpy Kid numero uno gets 'em in this weekend, expect this follow-up out next year. And if we're really, really good - eat all our vegetables and all that instead of flushing them away and just saying we did - maybe, just maybe, this sequel won't even be in 3D.
* Fast Five - Universal has been masterminding the production of two more Fast and Furious movies ever since that whole $30 million opening day thing the last one dabbled in. Diesel and Walker will apparently be back, Justin Lin will once again helm, and now, aside from having a great title, Fast Five also has a release date - June 10, 2011. That's a week before Green Lantern, and two weeks before the ten-year anniversary of the very first film in the series - kind of makes you nostalgic, doesn't it, for the days when the world only had one Fast and Furious movie inhabiting it?
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