Elf Off the Shelf, 2016: Days 1-8
By Daron Aldridge
December 22, 2016
The Elf on the Shelf phenomenon continues to steamroll the Christmas consciousness. If you have somehow escaped this trend, here's how it works: Your family buys the Elf on the Shelf and all through December, he moves around the house after the kids go to bed. He serves always as the eyes and ears of Santa, and then flies home to the North Pole every night to report. He's a Christmas surveillance drone, if you will.
For the fifth year, the Elf is not content with merely hanging out on some shelf or mantle. He's once again taken a liking to not just invading your homes but well-known movie posters. Now, he returns as an Elf Off the Shelf.
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Day 1: Calling someone "Strange" might be naughty behavior but a sling ring for portal transportation and cloak of levitation would explain the Elf's ability to move around so stealthily. Sorcerer Supreme, indeed.
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Day 2: On Day 2 of this year's fun, appropriately, the Elf steps into Al Pacino's role in The Godfather, Part II. This is in no way a commentary on Mr. Pacino's height because I'm a-Fredo of what the consequence would be for such a statement.
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Day 3: With the Elf assuming the role of the head Toro cheerleader, that must mean that the Elf's own "Big Red" (i.e. Santa) is stealing and taking credit for the work of others. It's clearly time to bring it.
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Day 4: "Difficult times lie ahead, Elfie!" On this fourth day of Elf Off the Shelf, the eponymous fellow takes on the fourth adventure of Mr. Potter. Hopefully, the elfin-equivalent to Cedric Diggory uses the movie/book as a cautionary tale.
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Day 5: Of all the emotions that run through his head, it does make sense that the Elf would assume the role of Joy.
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Day 6: The Elf tries hanging out with another big man in red for this sixth day. Thus, Elf Hero Six is born. Are you satisfied with his elfin care?
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Day 7: Hopefully with the Elf stepping into the role of Det. Mills, it will be much more pleasant surprise on Christmas morning when someone asks, "WHAT'S IN THE BOX???"
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Day 8: "Elfie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." In recognition of this classic's eight Oscar nominations (with three wins), the Elf takes over Bogie's iconic role. Fun fact: Humphrey Bogart was born on Christmas Day in 1899.
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