How to Spend $20 This Week
By Les Winan
March 25, 2004
Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.
As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I don’t miss Dawson’s Creek desperately, but I’ll watch The Singing Detective more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if The Singing Detective (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.
This week, we get a look at DVDs of three movies starring extremely hot women who make terrible career choices. Two of them have even won Academy Awards…recently! Now, Jessica Alba, I can understand her poor career choices, but I just can’t get over the complete inability of Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie to make good decisions. It’s no surprise that Berry has recently softened on the idea of doing a third X-Men movie, despite her seeming lack of interest in the past. Maybe they need to pretend they never won Academy Awards and go back to the Naomi Watts route: taking off their clothes in small, but generally well-respected films.
For Julia Stiles, wondering why this wasn’t called “Save the Last Dance 2: Casting Couch Boogaloo”: Honey (Widescreen) (2003)
Unless it was a nude audio commentary by Jessica Alba, I don’t think I’d even consider renting this crap, despite said regular clothed audio commentary from Alba and the director. If you must know, there are also music videos, outtakes, featurettes and deleted scenes.
For Angelina Jolie’s creepy brother, currently doing just as well at the box office: Beyond Borders (2003)
I’m guessing here, but I think Jon Voight was the only person who saw this movie. Apparently, films about UN Famine relief workers don’t get the masses into theater seats. Personally, I find that hard to believe. There’s nothing I want to spend $8 on more than two hours of images of starving children not accompanied by Angeline Jolie wandering around nude. If that does sound really exciting to you, you’ll be thrilled to discover the extras on this disc include an audio commentary with director Martin Campbell and producer Lloyd Phillips. Also included are featurettes, including one called, and I am not making this up: "Angelina: Goodwill Ambassador."
For people scared by this movie…scared that it was ever released: Gothika (Widescreen) (2003)
It’s a good thing that Penelope Cruz’s boyfriend has used his movie star status to help get her good projects to act in. Oh, wait… There’s nothing I like seeing more than two extremely beautiful women (Cruz and Halle Berry) in a bad movie where they look like crap. I’m not saying that beautiful women shouldn’t de-glam to “act," because lord knows Charlize Theron is good at it (particularly at re-glamming, thank god), simply that they should only do it for good movies. Or movies that don’t involve Robert Downey, Jr. Gothika’s fan will be happy to know that there’s a Limp Bizkit music video on the DVD, as well as an audio commentary with director Mathieu Kassovitz.
For anyone who ever wanted to punch Seann William Scott: The Rundown (Widescreen) (2003)
Apparently, The Rundown consists of The Rock punching Seann William Scott 63,000 times. I guess I’ll find out when I go to the video store to rent the one movie I actually want to see out of this week’s DVD releases. There’s nothing wrong with punching Seann William Scott a lot, though some might disagree. I generally find him funny. I suspect, however, that the presence in this film of The Rock has something to do with the punching. While one of my site mates continues to claim that The Rock will be bigger than Tom Cruise some day, I maintain that he’ll have a film career somewhere on the high end of the scale between the former Governor of Minnesota and the current Governor of California (with slightly more acting range than both). This, to me, means that he may some day end up as Governor of Illinois. The Rundown is apparently an entertaining film, and will certainly be memorable, if for nothing more than the fact that every time I see Christopher Walken give his exaggerated line reading of the word “Ow!” I chuckle. If Stone Cold Steve Austin would like to check out the DVD, he’ll find there are deleted scenes and featurettes. It’s a shame there isn’t a drunken, Dude, Where’s My Car-style audio commentary that ended with sounds of The Rock actually pummeling Seann William Scott. That would have been entertaining.
For the days when Ron Howard made movies that were interesting: Splash (Anniversary Edition) (1984)
Imagine if someone like Matthew Perry (of Friends fame) suddenly evolved from sitcom actor with middling movie success into not only a box office powerhouse, but a multiple-Academy Award winning actor. Considering the early career arc of Tom Hanks and the current box office run of Perry, that’s the rough equivilant… “And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to…Matthew Perry for the Paul Reubens Story!” That’s just not something I’m ready to accept. Somewhere, Matt Leblanc and Peter Scolari would be zeroing the scopes on their high powered rifles. Splash, the movie that really kick-started Tom Hanks’ movie career (well, kick-started it into crappy comedies), finally gets respectable treatment on DVD this week.
The DVD Pick of the Week, Splash stars Hanks, Daryl (I swear, despite my name, I am a woman) Hannah, John Candy and Eugene Levy in the eternal story that all men (who live in their parents basement) have dreamed about…falling love with a beautiful mermaid. Directed by Ron Howard just prior to the removal of his backbone, the film was a big hit for its time and a cable television stand-by in the years since. Fans of the film will find an audio commentary with Howard and other involved crew. It’d be interesting to hear a cast commentary if John Candy had lived and Eugene Levy was allowed to participate. I bet you could hear the desperate, passive-aggressive begging for a part in Daryl Hannah’s voice as she said things like “it sure was fun working with you guys” and “I’d love to do a sequel." Yet another reason to mourn the passing of John Candy.
March 23, 2004
Beyond Borders (2003)
Beyond the Mat (Special Edition) (1999)
Camp Cucamonga (1990)
Dirty Pretty Things (2003)
Farscape Season 4, Vol. 3 (2002)
Fresh Horses (1988)
Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)
Gothika (Full Frame) (2003)
Gothika (Widescreen) (2003)
Grave Matters (2004)
Honey (Full Frame) (2003)
Honey (Widescreen) (2003)
M.O. of M.I. (2002)
The Magdalene Sisters (2003)
Mondo Cane (1963)
Mondo Cane 2 (1964)
On Edge (2001)
The Osterman Weekend (1983)
Out of Control (2003)
Parasite (2003)
The Point (1971)
Ransom (Special Edition) (1996)
The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (2003)
The Rundown (Full Frame) (2003)
The Rundown (Widescreen) (2003)
Shattered Glass (2003)
Sherman's March (1986)
The Singing Detective (2003)
Splash (Anniversary Edition) (1984)
St. John's Wort (2001)
Suspended Animation (2003)
Will and Grace: Season Two (1999)
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