How to Spend $20 This Week
By Les Winan
April 14, 2004
Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc.
As a result, decisions will be totally subjective (I bought the full run of the unjustly canceled ABC dramedy Sports Night, no matter that the discs are featureless, The Criterion Collection edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a disc I had been dreaming of for years). The massive unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for every film fan. So before you think to yourself, "I don’t think Paul Walker is a bad actor, but even I won’t watch Timeline more than once!" stop; ask yourself, "Why!?" and then check to see if Timeline (or your disc of choice) is one of the weekly BOP DVD recommendations.
Weeks like this make me rue the day I ever decided to write a column like this (much how you all feel the same way, for a different reason). There is literally nothing I’d consider buying this week. Even the release of Kill Bill Volume 1 can’t excite me, due completely to the fact that there isn’t an extra to be seen on the disc, leading to the obvious conclusion that this is a “remember, Volume 2 is out this weekend” disc.
I have just one more thought before talking about the slender pickings this week: if my watching the Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson Variety Show last weekend on mute while staring at her ever-featured breasts was one of the reasons the ratings were high enough to air another Variety Show near Christmas, I’m proud of myself.
For a certain actor trying to ape Keanu Reeves’ career: Timeline (Widescreen) (2003)
I really hope that just once Paul Walker records an audio commentary for a DVD wherein he takes himself way too seriously when it comes to the acting. I mean Nick Nolte seriously, talking about “the work” and such (and then getting arrested for drunk driving and having crazy hair). That would be entertaining. In any case, those are my dreams. Based on a novel of the same name by Michael Crichton, Timeline has something to do with a time machine that sends people back to the Middle Ages. This allows them to help defend a castle and such. It’s basically a grown up, intellectual version of the movie A Kid In King Arthur’s Court starring Thomas Ian “American Pie/Rookie of the Year” Nicholas. If you’re such a Crichton fan that rewatching Jurassic Park 3 just won’t do it for you, there are featurettes on the DVD and, alas, no commentary from Paul Walker.
To the first movie I can remember seeing a naked woman in: Eating Raoul (1982)
There isn’t an extra feature to be found on this DVD, but I thought it was noteworthy that I can very specifically remember seeing this movie at about age eight and that there were a lot of naked women in it. Frankly, I don’t care to know much more.
For people who want to watch a Maggie Gyllenhaal movie that doesn’t feature that creepy James Spader: Casa de los Babys (2003)
I don’t think this movie features Maggie Gyllenhaal fully nude with James Spader at any point…and that’s not a bad thing. This film has something to do with women traveling to South America to adopt and realizing they have to “live” in the country they’re adopting from for a time. Wacky premise. Sounds like a happy movie to me. I’m surprised the Farrelly Brothers didn’t option the rights. In any case, if you do pick this up, the film is accompanied by an audio commentary with director John Sayles and assorted documentaries and featurettes.
For people who like to eat tomato soup while watching a movie: Kill Bill Volume 1 (2003)
I don’t know if anyone noticed the television lately, but there has been a lot of press and advertisements about Kill Bill Volume 2. V. 2 is released in theaters this weekend. V. 1 is released on DVD this week. And, almost by default, it’s the DVD Pick of the Week. I know all of you Babylon 5 nerds were praying that I’d finally come around, but…not so much.
While the conceit of the film is pretty clear from the title, that doesn’t mean that Kill Bill isn’t imaginative. It features a great deal of blood, Uma Thurman in a track suit with a sword, blood, Asian gang members trying to kill Uma Thurman in a track suit, blood, direction by Quentin Tarantino, a comatose Uma Thurman getting raped on a hospital bed, blood and some occasional blood. And violence. Don’t forget about the violence. Bloody violence. All this blood is, I might say, presented in a very unrealistic and cartoony way. It is the kind of violence that makes you almost giggle at the sheer spectacle of it. The film also, in the best way, provides definitive proof that Quentin Tarantino is completely insane.
This is not to say that I didn’t like the movie, which could not be further from the truth. In fact, count me among the masses that will likely be seeing V. 2 on opening weekend. Unfortunately for DVD fans, this is not the release of Kill Bill Volume 1 you should purchase. Rent and rewatch for bloody violence and familiarity prior to seeing V. 2? Yes, but don’t buy. Wait for the inevitable multi-disc set of the whole of Kill Bill that will hopefully feature many extras (including the “Uma Thurman shows how to crawl to a stolen car after beating man to death minutes after coming out of a coma” featurette…I’m crossing my fingers). So, while there is a featurette and such, don’t be suckered in by this clever marketing ploy. Rent, don’t buy the DVD Pick of the Week…Kill Bill.
April 13, 2004
All Night Bodega (2002)
Babylon 5: The Complete Fifth Season (6-DVD Set) (2000)
Casa de los Babys (2003)
Curse of the Komodo (2003)
The Devil's Knight (2003)
Dog Days (2001)
Dopamine (2003)
Eating Raoul (1982)
The Event (2003)
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)
Is There Sex After Death? (1971)
Kill Bill Volume 1 (2003)
Lexie (2004)
The Mad Adventures of Rabbi Jacob (1973)
Nike Battleground: Ball or Fall (2004)
Our America (2002)
Steppin' Back (2004)
Still Bout It (2004)
Take Me Home: The John Denver Story (2000)
Timeline (Full Frame) (2003)
Timeline (Widescreen) (2003)
Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
The Torry Brothers: Platinum Comedy Series (2004)
Vampires vs. Zombies (2004)
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