How to Spend $20
By Les Winan
October 11, 2005
Taking a look ahead at the week's DVD releases is always dicey for your wallet. Nearly every week, there's a disc that would fit nicely into any size collection. When it comes time to decide what to buy, there are really two determining factors: how much you love the content and the quality of the extra features on the disc. The unreleased studio (film and television) back-catalogue means that every week there's likely something for you.
So here's what I don't get: one of the girls in this movie doesn't look like she'd fit into the same pants as the other three girls: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Widescreen) (2005)
While I am excited to see Bradley Whitford (Josh from the West Wing) getting other work (does anyone else still hear his weasel laugh from Billy Madison every time they see him), I can't say I can identify much with The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, a tale of four best friends who decide they will stay connected via a traveling pair of pants that they share. First of all, gross. Second of all, I really doubt that with the amount of washing these pants would require to be, one would hope, clean for each new user's turn would allow these pants to not wear out extremely quickly. If these pants can travel and make it through that stress, they must, in fact, be magical. But perhaps I do not understand just how magical these pants are. Perhaps they are those stain-free/wrinkle-free Dockers which actually are made from a combination of Kevlar and plastic and feel as such when worn and thus do not need to be washed. But if that is the case and four different girls are sharing them, again, gross. Finally, while I may be a guy and thus do not understand the bond that teenage girls can share over a pair of pants, I do know that I wouldn't want to share a pair of pants with even my four best friends and that, even if I did, I highly doubt I would be able to find a pair of pants that fit all four of us (and we are not likely to be as exacting about how great our asses look in said pants as four teenage girls). Unless these truly are magical pants, and I do not really believe in magic. If you do believe this unbelievable conceit involving pants (or you actually own magical pants and would like to see a different pair in action), the DVD for this movie includes deleted scenes; a featurette; a rough cut of Tibby and Bailey's documentary; and a sort of lazy audio commentary where the four leads watch selected scenes and talk about them. Finally, enjoy an interview with author Ann Brashares, who apparently is a pioneer in the field of pants and magic.
For people who wouldn't see this movie in theaters unless dragged: Kicking & Screaming (Widescreen) (2005)
I propose a new way for Will Ferrell to make money. Everyone send me $1,000 and an index card with one sentence that you would like to hear Will Ferrell say in his Will Ferrell way. It can be a normal sentence from every day life and can mean nothing in context with anything else. If I take that sentence and read it, it will take approximately ten seconds. That allows for Will to read six sentences in one minute, 360 in one hour and 720 in two hours. If I take the $720,000 you all send me, I will give Will Ferrell $700,000 and use $20,000 for the relatively cheap production of my movie that I will direct wherein Will Ferrell reads your index cards in his Will Ferrell way and I record him doing so. I figure that he will take that much money for the job reading those index cards for what will amount to a few days of rehearsal and a few days of filming. Upon release, my film, entitled Will Ferrell Speaks will make approximately $100,000,000 on its opening weekend. As I have yet to be paid for my work on this film and my brilliant idea, I will take approximately all of the profits after I pay back each of your one thousand dollars. You will enjoy Will Ferrell saying your selected sentence for the price of a quick (six months or so) one thousand dollar loan. We all win. This idea copyrighted by me at this moment.
My understanding of the clever conceit of Kicking & Screaming is that it involves Will Ferrell coaching a youth soccer team and thus yelling at small children for approximately 90 minutes. Also, he has a sidekick named Mike Ditka, who is famous for a) denying Walter "Sweetness" Payton the opportunity to score a touchdown in the Super Bowl in 1985 so that an obese gimmick could score and b) once wearing a dreadlock wig. Included on this DVD are deleted scenes; outtakes; alternate takes and four featurettes. There's not much here, which, given the film involved, is how it should be.
For people who are put off by the ads for Elizabethtown, wherein they are supposed to accept that Orlando Bloom is not, in fact, from somewhere in a) history, b) pirateland c) Middle-Earth: Kingdom of Heaven (Widescreen) (2005)
I have gleaned the following little known facts from astute observation during several recent cinematic experiences. Little known fact about Orlando Bloom: he is not from our time. Little known fact about Liam Neeson: he is quite wise. Little known fact about Kingdom of Heaven: it is little known. Ridley Scott's historical crusades epic disappointed at the box office. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that the film is not good, it means that it likely did not connect with audiences as a result of religious persecution not being a particularly marketable subject matter. Yes, I do mean in the United States and yes, given the state of things, that does seem contradictory. Perhaps it should have been clearer that Bloom's character was fighting Muslims and then not only would a decent number of Americans gone to see it, but it would likely have gotten the special Presidential endorsement and a claim that it was part of a "global struggle against extremism" or whatever the rhetoric of the day is. Oops, I see that I've wandered into tangentland. It's quite possible that Kingdom of Heaven is quite good. Possible. If you decide to decide for yourself, include on the disc are a a text commentary stream consisting of both production and historical notes; a Interactive Production Grid, which allows you to choose a perspective and timeframe from which to view making of material; A&E's "Movie Real: Kingdom of Heaven"; The History Chanel's "History vs Hollywood: Kingdom of Heaven"; and featurettes. It's an interesting package.
For remembering not to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw: Arrested Development: Season Two (3-DVD Set) (2004)
Arrested Development's second season features 18 new episodes of the show Fox keeps swinging their pendulum of doom over. Did I mention that Fox does that despite the show winning the Best Comedy Series Emmy (among several others) last year and yet more Emmys this year? If you are not watching Arrested Development, well, there should be a list of people like you so you can be publicly shamed. FOR SHAME! Included on the three-disc set are commentary tracks by creator Mitchell Hurwitz and actors Will Arnett, Michael Cera, David Cross, Tony Hale, Alia Shawkat, and Jessica Walter on three episodes. Also included are deleted scenes, a blooper reel and two featurettes.
For people who like smart, quippy shows that don't involve Lauren Graham: Veronica Mars: The Complete First Season (6-DVD Set) (2004)
Think that the notion of Nancy Drew updated for the 21st century sounds lame? That's because it is. Veronica Mars is not Nancy Drew, but she is very 21st century. One of the few shows with the guts to have a female lead that actually is a scheming manipulator (and sympathetic), Veronica Mars, put simply, is the story of a teenage female detective. But it's not that simple, and thank god for that.
As we meet Veronica in season one, she is dealing with her best friend's murder, her own rape, her father's shame, her mother's alcoholism, possible questions about her own paternity and that's only a small array of the goings on in and around Neptune High. Yes, Veronica Mars is a good reason to watch UPN. Well acted, terrifically written and genuinely mysterious, the show has only gotten better now that the second season has started. If you missed out on the first, now's the time to pick it up and catch up. Don't miss out.
Included on the discs are all 22 first season-episodes; an extended version of the pilot; and 20 minutes of unaired scenes. It's actually quite the meagre set and that's the only disappointment that can be found in this week's DVD Pick of the Week. Here's hoping that the season two set includes some audio commentaries and cast interviews. What's particularly strange is that UPN had a particularly detailed Web site devoted to the show and none of that content seems to have found its way onto the DVD. Wait till next year, I guess. But not to buy this.
October 11, 2005
11:14 (2003)
Amityville: It's About Time (1992)
Arrested Development: Season Two (3-DVD Set) (2004)
Bionicle: Web of Shadows (2005)
The Bridge of San Luis Rey (2004)
The Defender (2004)
Dora the Explorer: Dance to the Rescue (2005)
The Fog (a.k.a. Dhund) (2003)
Hammerhead (2005)
Happily Ever After (2004)
High Tension (Rated R Full Frame) (2003)
High Tension (Unrated Widescreen) (2003)
Hondo (Special Collector's Edition) (1953)
Imagining Argentina (2003)
Izo (2004)
Kicking & Screaming (Full Frame) (2005)
Kicking & Screaming (Widescreen) (2005)
Kingdom of Heaven (Full Frame) (2005)
Kingdom of Heaven (Widescreen) (2005)
Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)
Project Grizzly (1996)
Sex and a Girl (2001)
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Full Frame) (2005)
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Widescreen) (2005)
South Park: The Complete Sixth Season (6-DVD Set) (2002)
Unborn But Forgotten (2002)
Undead (2003)
Unleashed (Full Frame) (2005)
Unleashed (Unrated Widescreen) (2005)
Veronica Mars: The Complete First Season (6-DVD Set) (2004)
Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004)
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