TiVoPlex
By John Seal
October 24, 2005
From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.
Tuesday 10/25/05
1:55am HBO
Methadonia (2005 USA): HBO's America Undercover program seems to have an obsession with the nation's unrequited love for illegal substances, with the results ranging from the soporific (paging Crank: Made in America) to the sublime (the remarkable Dope Sick Love). This is the latest entry in the genre, and it's one of the better entries in the series. Methadone has been used for over 40 years as a treatment for heroin addiction, and this film examines its efficacy, over the course of 18 months, through the eyes of Lower East Side junkies trying to get the monkey off their back. Arriving on television a mere month after it premiered at the New York Film Festival, Methadonia sadly concludes that this artificial opiate is no more than a panacea, replacing an illegal high with a legal one that can then be further enhanced by cutting it with other drugs, such as Xanax and Valium. Also airs at 4:55am.
2am More Max
Them! (1954 USA): This iconic meditation on the dangers of nuclear testing returns to television this morning. It's more science fiction than horror (or, for that matter, science fact), but Them! has given generations of youngsters goose bumps and is perfect late-night viewing for the Halloween season. The film features kindly Kris Kringle himself, Edmund Gwenn, as a scientist trying to explain to the military that those giant ants rampaging across the New Mexico countryside are the result of one too many atomic bomb blasts, and even worse, they're now heading for Los Angeles, where their swaying antennae, annoying high-pitched chatter and penchant for Bob's Big Boy's Hot Fudge Cake will threaten the tranquility of the suburban Southland! Also on hand are James Whitmore as a friendly cop, James Arness as a handsome hero, and little Sandy Descher as the young lady who can only gasp three words of warning to her aghast elders: "Them! Them! THEM!"
Wednesday 10/26/05
7am Starz! Edge
Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2004 USA): If you loved Them!, you'll probably get a kick out of this extremely funny and loving tribute to the B science-fiction films of the 1950s. If, however, you're the kind of person who keeps his or her collection of Famous Monsters of Filmland preserved in plastic in a controlled environment (keep the temperature and the humidity low!), this is DEFINITELY your film (In fact, you probably already own it on DVD and have snagged a full set of lobby cards on Ebay). There's something for everyone: a scientist and his beautiful wife, space aliens, a radioactive monster, a sultry and mysterious girl-creature, and, of course, the titular skeleton. He needs the rare element Atmospherium to reanimate his creaky old bones, and he'll stop at next to nothing to get it! Filmed in black-and-white, and utilizing the beloved Bronson Canyon locations of Robot Monster fame, this will tickle the funny bone of all those who grew up watching Shock Theater or the Saturday-night creature features.
11:30pm Turner Classic Movies
Juno and the Paycock(1930 GB): One of the more obscure extant features in the Alfred Hitchcock filmography, Juno and the Paycock is probably no one's favorite Hitch effort, but essential viewing nonetheless for fans of the maestro of suspense. Based on a play by Sean O'Casey ("...George Bernard Shaw, Samuel Beckett, Eugene O'Neill..."), it's the tale of a poor family who stand to inherit a fortune during the Irish Civil War. Though the film betrays its age and its extremely low budget, it remains a well-acted tragedy with fine performances from Edward Chapman, Sara Allgood, and the scenery-chewing John Laurie. It's followed at 1:15am by Hitchcock's equally neglected stage-to-screen adaptation The Skin Game (1931), based on a play by John Galsworthy.
Thursday 10/27/05
4am More Max
The Day I Will Never Forget (2002 GB): You and me both, sweetheart. Some films are "unforgettable", and some films burn themselves into your brain for a long, long time. The Day I Will Never Forget is the latter; it's a grueling and heartrending look at the medieval practice of female circumcision that will have you squirming in your seat for an hour-and-a-half. Filmed in Kenya by director Kim Longinotto, whose Divorce Iranian Style took a jaundiced look at women's rights in the Islamic Republic, this film will have both men and women crossing their legs in sympathy with the pre-pubescent girls subjected to this horrific ritual. Though there's nothing explicitly shown on screen, this is absolutely, positively not for the faint of heart.
7:05pm Encore Dramatic Stories
The Kitchen Toto (1987 GB): No, Toto, you're not in Kansas anymore; in fact, you're still in Kenya! Set during the 1950s at the height of the so-called Mau Mau Rebellion, when local insurgents led by Jomo Kenyatta took on the might of the British Army, The Kitchen Toto is a well-written if rather staid drama about a young orphan boy (Edwin Mahinda) taken in as a servant by the local police chief (Bob Peck). The narrative develops a bit too slowly, and the payoff isn't anything to write home about, but the cast are excellent throughout, with especial kudos to Peck and Ronald Pirie, who - in his one and only film appearance to date - plays the policeman's incredibly annoying son to priggish perfection. Director Harry Hook's next assignment was, unfortunately, the ill-advised Lord of the Flies remake, from which his career has yet to recover.
9:30pm Sundance
The Hidden (1987 USA): I overlooked this one when it first popped up on Sundance earlier this month. It's an above-average science-fiction film about a hideous slimy space alien who inhabits Earthbound life forms whilst pursuing its nefarious ends (which aren't made very clear, and are secondary to the plot anyway, but probably involve outing Valerie Plame as a covert CIA operative). In a narrative device that blends elements of The Terminator and Alien Nation, Kyle MacLachlan plays a good guy alien - disguised as a human cop - on the heels of the troublemaker, with Michael Nouri playing his patrol-car sidekick and straight banana. It's 90 minutes of well-filmed, non-stop tongue-in-cheek action, and Sundance is airing it in its correct aspect ratio, too. Also airs 10/28 at 1:25am.
Friday 10/28/05
7:45pm Starz! Edge
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2004 USA): I'm such a hypocrite. I repeatedly rake Quentin Tarantino over the coals, and then turn around and give his films a plug anyway. Why do I do this? Is it some sort of passive-aggressive, beat-me-one-more-time-because-it's-the-best-I-deserve cry for help? I have no idea, but here we go again. I avoided the theatrical runs of Kill Bill Volumes 1-10, but the first of the series is making its wide-screen television debut this evening, so for those so inclined, enjoy. In the meantime, I'll be questioning the common sense of IMDb voters, who consider this poorly-written collection of reheated and recycled scenes from better movies the 75th best film of all time. At least it's nice that Quentin gave Sonny Chiba a job. Also airs 10/29 at 5am.
Saturday 10/29/05
6pm Starz! Edge
House of Flying Daggers (2004 CHI): Ah, that's more like it. I have to admit, I was a skeptic about director Zhang Yimou's conversion to action auteur, but Hero won me over and House of Flying Daggers is pretty good, too. Hero's Takeshi Kaneshiro plays a secret agent sent to uncover the machinations of the titular organization, a secret society plotting to overthrow the Tang Dynasty. When he falls for a blind dancer (Zhang Ziyi) who may also be an operative working for the House, his loyalty is called into question, and the two lovers flee from the Emperor's pursuing army, leading to some incredible action sequences that are both ingeniously staged and breathtakingly beautiful. This is a film that needs to be seen in its correct aspect ratio, and thankfully Starz! is airing it in 2.35:1 this evening. Future broadcasts will primarily be in pan-and-scan format, so tonight's the night to catch this visually impressive film.
6:45pm IFC
Paperhouse (1988 GB): This low-key, rather gentle British fantasy will appeal to fans of this year's uneven but worthwhile Neil Gaiman adaptation MirrorMask. Charlotte Burke plays Anna, a bedridden youngster whose intricate artwork inextricably becomes entwined with her fever dreams. As her fever ebbs and flows, her dreams begin to collide with reality, with dangerous implications for herself and her family. This psychological fantasy is short on visceral thrills, but will pull you in with its fascinating story and eerie, off-kilter atmosphere. Also airs 10/30 at 12:15am.
11:30pm The Movie Channel
Steele Justice (1987 USA): It's been quite a while since this Reagan-era action flick has been on the boob, and I can't say I've really missed it. But if by chance you are a big Martin Kove fan - and I know one or two of you are out there - your long national nightmare is over, and Steele Justice is back on the airwaves. Kove plays John Steele (not, I can assure you, to be confused with John Steed), a Vietnam vet determined to put the kibosh on a drug-running former general (The Man With the Golden Gun's Soon-Tek Oh) who's moved on from fighting Communism, relocated to Southern California, and invested heavily in the far more lucrative narcotics business. Also on hand are Ronny Cox, first-rate as always; Bernie Casey, looking sheepish but happy to be employed; and Sela Ward, about whom the less said the better. Also airs 10/30 at 2:30am.
Sunday 10/30/05
9:35am The Movie Channel
The Man Who Cried (2000 GB-FRA): Sally Potter's Orlando is a favorite of mine, thanks primarily to the presence of Tilda Swinton as its time-traveling and gender-bending title character. The Man Who Cried doesn't have Swinton, but it does have Orlando's ambitious low-budget sweep, with characters flitting back-and-forth across the European continent circa the late 1930s. Christina Ricci plays Suzie, a Gypsy war orphan adopted by a stern British couple and then thrust into the maelstrom of pre-World War II France, where she is taken in by an opera singer (Cate Blanchett) who falls for a fascist impresario (John Turturro). Meanwhile, Suzie becomes obsessed with a faux Gypsy actor (Johnny Depp), and the two proceed to make goo-goo eyes at each other for the rest of the film. Airing in wide screen, The Man Who Cries (a character who actually shows up fairly late in the proceedings) also airs at 12:35pm.
Monday 10/31/05
4pm Sundance
The Take (2004 CAN): For those TiVoPlex regulars still in need of further servings of Argentinean economic despair (see previous weeks' recommendations for films like El Cielito and Buena Vida Delivery), here's The Take, a documentary look at one of the unanticipated results of that nation's 1999 fiscal meltdown: the appropriation by workers of factories and shops left idle by their owners. Yes, folks, it was Communism in action, and America let them get away with it! Directed by anti-globalization activist Naomi Klein, who isn't much of a filmmaker but does have a way with polemic, The Take won the American Film Institute's Best Documentary prize in 2004.
11pm Turner Classic Movies
Horror Castle (1963 ITA): I don't know which version of this Gothic horror delight TCM will be airing - the print utilized for Media Blasters recent DVD (entitled Virgin of Nuremberg), or the television cut we all grew up with - but either way, it's great to see this wonderful Italian chiller return to the small screen in letterbox format. It features Rossana Podesta as a noblewoman who, on a dark and stormy night, stumbles into a castle occupied by a Nazi war criminal (Mirko Valentin), still getting his kicks from torturing and maiming innocent victims decades after the end of the war. Also lurking in the shadows is one Christopher Lee (sadly redubbed by a voice actor) as Erich the caretaker, who tends to his master's beloved collection of surgical equipment. Released in various markets as Terror Castle, Castle of Terror, and Back to the Killer, Horror Castle isn't quite as good as Mario Bava's Black Sunday or Riccardo Freda's The Horrible Dr. Hichcock - it was, after all, directed by Antonio Margheriti - but is a delectable and bloody All Hallows' Eve treat nonetheless.
Print this column
