TiVoPlex
By John Seal
February 7, 2006
From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.
Tuesday 02/07/06
6:45am Sundance Kursk: Submarine in Troubled Waters (2004 FRA): Just when you think you understand the way the world works, along comes a film that completely subverts your reality. This astonishing documentary takes a look at the sinking of the Russian submarine Kursk on August 12, 2000, a tragedy that was inevitably blamed on faulty and out-of-date Soviet-era equipment. In the immediate wake of the accident, Russian naval officers attributed the sinking to a torpedo strike from a US Navy sub, an accusation I assumed was designed to cover up their own carelessness and ineptitude. The thesis of this film, however, is that the admirals were right all along: American subs were shadowing the Kursk during its Barents Sea exercises, and (intentionally or otherwise) rammed and then torpedoed it. The film is damning and its evidence overwhelming: only hurried talks between Vladimir Putin and Bill Clinton kept the world from a catastrophic nuclear war. Another reminder that one should never, EVER take what politicians say at face value.
1:15pm Sundance A Man's Gotta Do (2004 AUS): The world's first gangster fishing film, A Man's Gotta Do is a predictably boisterous Australian comedy featuring long-time Aussie thesp John Howard as Eddy, a salty sea dog who moonlights as an enforcer for the Mob. He also has to contend with his stereotypically dysfunctional family, including cuckolded wife Yvonne (Rebecca Firth), who's tempted to shag the plumber, and daughter Chantelle (Alyssa McClelland), whose fiancée has recently done a runner. The result is a standard-issue Down Under laugher that provides some chuckles for Oz expats and their sympathizers. As with many Australian features, the cast is far better than the screenplay deserves.
5pm Showtime 2 Danny Deckchair (2003 AUS): The world's first romantic comedy about a man in a flying deckchair...wait a minute, this set-up seems strangely familiar. Another humorous entry from the bottom of the planet, Danny Deckchair somehow earned a US theatrical run two years after being released in its home country, and features Welsh comedian Rhys Ifans as the title character, a working man who drives a cement lorry for a living. In an effort to escape the numbing emptiness of his day-to-day existence, Danny ties some helium balloons to his garden lounger and takes off for parts unknown, gets caught up in a storm which deposits him in a rural paradise, and promptly falls in love with a meter maid (Miranda Otto). Based on the true (!) story of a man named Larry Walters, this quirky feature quickly loses altitude once the ho-hum romance kicks in, but is thoroughly entertaining through the first reel. It's airing in wide-screen and re-inflates 1/12 at 1:30pm.
7pm Fox Movie Channel Eternity (1989 USA): This incredibly awful fantasy features Jon Voight as Edward, a TV producer whose dreams take on an uncanny relevance to his waking life (Note to Edward: when one of those dreams involves Wilford Brimley, it's surely time to seek professional help). Back in ye day, Edward's previous life was spent benignly ruling a cut-rate medieval kingdom, where his sibling rival of olde (Armand Assante) churlishly vied for the hand of the prince's woman (Eileen Davidson). Flash-forward to the present, and in an astonishing coincidence, Edward's brother still has the hots for his lady love, and also has evil intentions regarding his business empire. Steeped in pop-culture mysticism and with a fervid faith in reincarnation at its core, Eternity is utterly serious about its New Age message, which makes it an extremely worthwhile pick for bad movie fans, and a reminder to everyone else that the cat box needs changing. It's not available on home video and is making its wide-screen television debut this evening, which is why you're reading about it here.
Wednesday 02/08/06
2:35am Sundance Little Otik (2000 CZH-UK): Fantasist Jan Svankmajer's work is an acquired taste. I was first exposed to it via his re-imagining (note to self: hate that word; must come up with suitable alternative) of Alice In Wonderland, 1988's Alice, a creepy amalgam of live-action and stop-motion photography. Beating the odds, this bizarre feature is even creepier. It's Svankmajer's take on a Czech fairytale about a childless couple, Bozena and Karel, who adopt an, erm, tree stump in lieu of a human baby. Though Otik's performance tends to be a little wooden, the film branches off in some interesting directions, and you'll be rooting for him all the way. One of those films I'm compelled to point out IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, Little Otik will remind adventurous film fans of the twisted tot featured in David Lynch's Eraserhead.
4:45am Sundance The Gong Show Movie (1980 USA): One can only marvel that The Gong Show Movie's first American television appearance in decades comes on The Sundance Channel. For those of a certain age - well, 43 or thereabouts - there are few sweeter memories than those of rushing home from school in order to catch The Gong Show, which if memory serves, aired daily at 3:30pm on NBC. A variety show with a difference - it blatantly acknowledged that most of its featured acts were completely and utterly lacking in either talent or redeeming social value - the show featured a panel of Z-grade celebrities (including Jamie Farr and Jaye P. Morgan) passing judgment on the amateur artistes who trod the show's threadbare stage. Always present, of course, was hyperkinetic (some might say coked-out) host Chuck Barris, whose life story was brilliantly re-created by director George Clooney in 2002's biopic Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Barris wrote and directed this big-screen spin-off, which arrived a year or two too late and was intended either to breathe new life into the faltering franchise or put a punctuation mark on the entire exercise. Presented as a week in the life of a harried Barris, the best reason to watch the film - if you're a masochist, that is - is to hear Chuck sing his own original compositions. The film also features lots of fun cameos, including appearances by Robert Altman, Harvey Lembeck, LA Dodger Steve Garvey, Vincent Schiavelli, and regular cast members Farr, Morgan, Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, and many more.
7:35am The Movie Channel Wild in the Streets (1968 USA): One film that won't get highlighted during Shelley Winters' Oscar night tribute, Wild in the Streets airs in wide-screen for the first time on American television this morning. It's the groovy tale of Max Frost (Christopher Jones), who insinuates his way into the Presidency at the age of 22 and, taking the nostrum about never trusting anyone over 30 to the extreme, enacts a law disenfranchising those who have reached that chronological landmark. Winters plays his mother, who obviously breast-fed the lad for far too long; Hal Holbrook plays a glad-handing senator; and Richard Pryor appears as Max's black power advisor, Stanley X. Produced by AIP, the film's theme song - credited to Max Frost and the Troopers - became an AM radio hit in 1968 and still sounds pretty good today.
Thursday 02/09/06
7;00pm Flix Five Easy Pieces (1970 USA): "I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken-salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee." "A #2, chicken-salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?" "Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken-salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules." "You want me to hold the chicken, huh?" "I want you to hold it between your knees." We all have our favorite lines of dialogue we like to quote from our favorite films, but the exchange between oil rig worker Bobby (Jack Nicholson at his acerbic best) and an uncooperative waitress (the recently deceased Lorna Thayer) surely ranks amongst the most memorable movie moments of all time. The rest of the film ain't bad either, with Bobby returning home from his blue-collar job to take care of his ailing father (Billy the Kid vs. Dracula's William Challee), a musical savant who hoped his son would one day be a renowned concert pianist. Penned with intelligence and great wit by erstwhile screenwriter Carole Eastman, shot beautifully by Laszlo Kovacs, and co-starring Ralph Waite and Karen Black, Five Easy Pieces remains an American classic, and one of the landmark character studies of the early ‘70s (or late ‘60s, if you prefer). Five Easy Pieces aired on Encore in pan-and-scan last September, but gets the much preferred letterboxed treatment this evening.
7pm Sundance Darkman (1990 USA): Director Sam Raimi began making superhero movies long before 2002's Spider-Man. Darkman, his first opportunity to work at a major studio (Universal), tells the story of a scientist (whose speciality, conveniently enough, is skin grafts) out for revenge against those who brutalized him and left him scarred beyond recognition. When doctors perform surgery that shuts down his pain receptors (hmm...not sure about the science on that), Darkman is born and there's trouble brewing for the villains of Gotham City. Made on the heels of Raimi's heady Evil Dead II, Darkman is a comparatively restrained and only partially-satisfying affair, with the director's penchant for comedic excess presumably reined in by cautious studio bigwigs. Its sequel, the even less impressive Darkman II, airs immediately following at 8:35pm, and both films appear in wide-screen.
Friday 02/10/06
6:45pm Flix The Crossing (1990 AUS): Well, tie me kangaroo down and force feed it a Foster's, here's the third Australian film to get a mention in this week's column! It's the film that provided Russell Crowe with his box office breakthrough Down Under, a breakthrough that has led to countless bar fights and telephone assaults in the years since. Hard to believe the man got his start on the anodyne soap Neighbours, but he's made up for it since, hasn't he? The Crossing features Crowe as Johnny, a young lover vying for the hand of sweet young thing Meg (Danielle Spencer), whose old boyfriend Sam (Robert Mammone) is angling to get his woman back. Directed by Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome helmer George Ogilvie and airing in wide-screen, The Crossing is a by-the-numbers drama that will please fans of the Kiwi bad boy with the come-hither eyes.
Saturday 02/11/06
3am Flix Lady in White (1988 USA): This satisfyingly spooky ghost story features Lukas Haas as Frankie, a fourth-grader who gets locked in a cloakroom by bullies and spends Halloween night conversing with the spirit of a young girl before being freed by a mysterious and threatening masked man. His curiosity piqued by visions of murder, Frankie finds himself inadvertently involved in an unsolved ten-year-old homicide case with shades of Nightmare on Elm Street. Set in Anytown, USA circa the early ‘60s, and framed à la The Wonder Years as a nostalgic flashback, Lady in White also features the great Katherine Helmond (Brazil) as an imposing elderly woman whose secluded mansion holds secrets that help the Hardy Boys - sorry, Frankie - solve The Riddle of the Spectral Schoolgirl.
Sunday 02/12/06
1am Encore Dramatic Stories Savage Messiah (1972 GB): One of director Ken Russell's more obscure features, Savage Messiah has long been unseen on television and has never been available on home video. It's the story of tortured young artiste Henri Gaudier (Scott Antony, whose next film was horror fave The Freakmaker), a bohemian who spent the early years of the 20th century living, loving, and creating art before dying in the trenches in 1915. It's a familiar narrative trope for Russell, who has a thing for mad geniuses, and its intimate scale strongly works in the film's favor. The first-rate supporting cast includes Helen Mirren, Michael Gough, and Peter Vaughan, and, as usual, Russell himself in a brief cameo.
9pm Encore Westerns The Wild Bunch (1969 USA): I'm not a huge Sam Peckinpah fan, and you probably already know as much as you need to know about The Wild Bunch and how it set a new standard for screen ultra-violence. I'll be giving it an encore viewing tonight, however, as it makes a rare small-screen appearance in its essential 2.35:1 aspect ratio. It re-airs throughout the month in pan-and-scan, but if you've never seen it (or are already a fan), mark your calendar tonight.
Monday 02/13/06
3am HBO Signature Celebration at Big Sur (1971 USA): The music isn't exactly my bag, but there's no denying the historical interest of this low-budget film about a low-budget festival that took place in 1969 at the Esalen Institute, one of the premier psychobabble headquarters of the day. If you enjoy footage of folks flying their freak flag high, this is for you. Fans of folk music will be in heaven, but others will find the sounds pretty thin gruel, and sometimes, especially in the case of Joni Mitchell's caterwauling, the musical equivalent of a high colonic. Neil Young looks and sounds cool, especially on an organ-heavy number early in the film, and the Edwin Hawkins Singers are excellent. The film has a grittiness that sets it apart from Woodstock, and the small nature of the crowd - and the fact that the "stage" is one side of a swimming pool - make this a valuable record of what seems to have been a genuine communal experience.
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