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Monday Morning QuarterbackBy BOP StaffFebruary 12, 2006
David Mumpower: See, you're all joking, but it would be a massive hit. At the end of the day, this is how audiences are comfortable watching Steve Martin. For all his mercurial brilliance, he's the Parenthood/Father of the Bride guy rather than the Grand Canyon/The Spanish Prisoner guy. Kim Hollis: I blame (director) Shawn Levy - which makes me realize that perhaps I should not be as excited about the upcoming Night at the Museum as I have been. David Mumpower: He's like the guy who sang Baby Got Back. Do you know how sick that guy must be of that song by now? If he goes to a show, though, you know what his encore is going to be. It's either accept the selling out or spend the morning in the garage inhaling carbon monoxide. When great actors do humiliating pratfallsKim Hollis: It's interesting, though. People have accepted Bill Murray making that leap. Why not Steve?Tim Briody: I think both of them have it down. Do the big money picture, get to make unappreciated brilliance on the side. Reagen Sulewski: What I'm wondering is how many people who went to this film really knew anything about the original? I mean, the last good one in this series was 40 years ago. David Mumpower: I would imagine many of them were confused about the fact that this wasn't an animated movie. Reagen Sulewski: Steve hasn't tried as hard as Murray, in my opinion. It seems like the rejection on Leap of Faith really got to him. David Mumpower: What's Kevin Kline's excuse? Reagen Sulewski: Gambling debts? David Mumpower: I said Kevin Kline, not Wayne Gretzky. Kim Hollis: Kline letting his son take the weird, awards-bait kind of roles. David Mumpower: I thought it was that he tried that with De-Lovely and realized what a drastic misstep that was. Really though, I blame Wild Wild West. That robotic spider destroyed so many careers. Final Destination: Soon to be a ride at Universal Studios (but you'll only ride it once)Kim Hollis: The Pink Panther was not the only $20 million opener. Final Destination 3 opened to an estimated $20.1 million, making it the biggest debut for the franchise thus far. Is there any escape from horror films?Tim Briody: Until they stop making money, and probably not even then. David Mumpower: Never. I think we figured out the other day that there were 27 of them last year (that's almost exactly one every other week) and there are 30 scheduled for 2006. Final Destination is a bit different as a franchise, though, in that it's at least unique in premise and execution. Kim Hollis: I propose a film where an angry slasher... Reagen Sulewski: I've heard all I need to know! Here's $20 million! Kim Hollis: I was going to say "goes after studio executives in a rage to stop them stealing his schtick", but it's funnier your way. Tim Briody: Take some unknown actors who will work for food, make a crappy movie but stylish trailer, and bam. Everyone wins. Reagen Sulewski: Are there an unusual amount of teenagers in the demographic or something? How can they not get tired of the same movie every week? Kim Hollis: Well, to be fair, I was all about horror films at that age myself. David Mumpower: I'm starting to suspect that we are training an entire generation about the most effective ways to become a serial killer. We've got Saw, CSI and Law and Order. That's "how to do it", "what to watch out for" and "how the cops will try to track you". Reagen Sulewski: It makes me thankful that the writers of CSI are making so much of their crap up out of thin air. Tim Briody: The first Final Destination is actually quite good. David Mumpower: I agree, Tim. That and Scream are largely responsible for the later resurgence of the genre. Tim Briody: And it just took a few years since those films to get the formula down. There are certainly no shortage of young actors who will work cheap. We look forward to the Quentin Tarantino version, Furious GeorgeKim Hollis: Continuing the theme of strong openings, Curious George, the most popular monkey this side of Donkey Kong, opened to $15.3 million. Is it possible the blizzards on the East Coast actually helped movie box office this weekend?Tim Briody: Nah, we're already two for two with kids movies this year, and I definitely didn't see the trend ending with Curious George. Reagen Sulewski: The only surprise is why it took them so long to turn this into a movie. David Mumpower: I've seen several comments already that indicate box office would have been so much higher without the weather, but I agree with your premise, Kim. We had four strong openings this weekend and even a poorly marketed one in Curious George did very well. Kim Hollis: It was definitely a colorful, safe-looking film for youngsters, which I think is an oftentimes underserved demographic. David Mumpower: Curious George is too gentle. I prefer my monkeys to throw barrels, collect bananas and fight super-villains. Kim Hollis: And by that demographic I specifically mean the really young families, who like to take their kids to movies without worrying that something scary is going to happen in the story. Reagen Sulewski: Yeah, it was always going to have an age cap at, say eight-years-old, but in that demo, it'd be gold. David Mumpower: Their kids are going to grow up to be fans of movies where Steve Martin falls down a lot. How much scarier does it get than that? Kim Hollis: The fact that they will also be fans of movies where Ice Cube and Vin Diesel fall down and deal with stinky diapers? David Mumpower: Maybe this is why kids are so drawn to horror movies once they become teenagers. You watch Curious George enough times and the urge to kill is uncontrollable. Kim Hollis: Must...destroy...man...in...yellow...hat. Reagen Sulewski: Sequel plans could be interesting. Curious George and the Ebola Virus. The Wrong Element would have opened to $30 millionKim Hollis: The worst of the four openers, Firewall, still did okay with $13.8 million. Is it time for Harrison Ford to accept that he's moved into the Sean Connery phase of his career?David Mumpower: Absolutely. He should be the grizzled veteran mentor a la Connery in The Rock rather than an action lead now. Since his last Jack Ryan film in 1994, he's only had two hits (What Lies Beneath and Air Force One). Conversely, this is his seventh disappointment. Reagen Sulewski: I think this can only lead to a ridiculously age-innapropriate on-screen romance role with, oh, let's say Lindsay Lohan. Tim Briody: The more I think about this movie, the more I think Indiana Jones 4 will get made pretty soon. David Mumpower: I'm one of the biggest Indiana Jones fans in the world, but I've come to terms with the fact that we're better off without a fourth one. Kim Hollis: Yup, Indiana Jones needs to be left alone. Tim Briody: Didn't he try the grizzled veteran route with Hollywood Homicide? David Mumpower: Not really since he was still the lead. I'm talking about what Connery did with Last Crusade, The Rock, Highlander and even Finding Forrester. Ford isn't a draw any more, but he could be ancillary appeal for someone who is. Reagen Sulewski: I'm comparing him to Michael Douglas now, and I think this kind of film cements it. How different is this really from Don't Say a Word, aside from no creepy catchphrase? Kim Hollis: Not even his Super Bowl intro could get people interested in his film. Tim Briody: That actually might have freaked people out too much. Note to our readers at Gonzaga: Please stop chanting thisKim Hollis: Brokeback Mountain finished in eighth place with $4.2 million. The distinction here is that it is the only Academy Award contender to finish in the top ten. Is it fair to say that this year's Oscar contenders are out of touch with people who usually like to go to movies as an avenue for escape and fun?Reagen Sulewski: Brokeback had a brief couple of weeks where it was getting respect again, but it's back to being a punchline already. It's going to easily be the lowest rated Oscar broadcast ever. David Mumpower: I think it's partially this but also a reflection of the fact that mainstream moviegoers considered 2005 to be a lousy year for cinema. The "best" films of the year are still not attracting much interest, because none of them has that "Ohmigoditssogoooood" buzz. Tim Briody: Readers, be sure to check out BOP's Academy Awards blog, where we all fall asleep within the first hour! David Mumpower: This year's Academy Awards are going to feel like being lectured by your parents. "Stop being so racist and homophobic!" It's like demanding people to stay off of Xbox Live. Reagen Sulewski: I set the over/under for when Jon Stewart resorts to jokes about Half Baked at 15 minutes.
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