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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 04/04/06

3:20am Flix
Paper Lion (1968 USA): Pop the popcorn, opt for the jumbo chamber pot, and settle into your butt groove; today is one of the busiest days ever in the TiVoPlex, and you won't want to miss a minute of the action. First up on the schedule is Paper Lion, the film version of George Plimpton's popular book of the same name - which in my opinion should really have been called Sack Like Me - about a journalist's undercover assignment to try out for the NFL's Detroit Lions. I'm not a football fan - in fact, I can't stand it - but it's a sport that always seems to translate well to the screen (The Longest Yard, Rudy, etc.), and this film is no exception to the rule. Alan Alda stars as the avuncular Plimpton, and there's a heaping helping of real, honest-to-goodness football players in the cast, including future professional actor Alex Karras. This is also quite a rare feature, and hasn't been on American television in some time. It's making its wide-screen boob tube debut this morning, and also airs at 3pm on 4/8 at 10:30am, and on 4/9 at 2:25am.

6am Turner Classic Movies
Hollywood Party (1934 USA): One of my all time favorite musicals, Hollywood Party is a potpourri of mirth and song that also features one of those completely wacky pre-Code plots that disappeared once the Breen Office opened for business. Jimmy Durante stars as Schnarzan the Conqueror, a jungle he-man whose on-screen act with fake lions is wearing thin with the movie-going public. When adventurer Baron Munchhausen (!) comes to town with some REAL lions in tow, Schnarzan decides to grease the wheels and up the ante, and throws a party for one and all. Amongst the cognoscenti putting in appearances at his bash are Laurel and Hardy, The Three Stooges, Lupe Velez, Robert Young, and many more familiar faces. Also of note is a wonderful color Disney cartoon, Hot Chocolate Soldiers, which pops up mid-way through the film. It doesn't have much to do with the story, but it's truly delightful.

11am Fox Movie Channel
The Man Who Never Was (1956 GB): Clifton Webb stars as Lieutenant Commander Ewen Montagu, a World War II British spy, in this based-on-a-true-story drama from director Ronald Neame. The real life Montagu devised a plot to distract the German high command from Allied plans to invade Italy by creating the title (non) character, a corpse who washes ashore on German-controlled territory with secret (and completely false) papers on him outlining a mooted attack on Greece. Webb, who usually played prissy milquetoasts, is surprisingly effective, and the supporting cast is superb, including Gloria Grahame, Robert Flemyng, Cyril Cusack, Andr� Morell, Michael Hordern, Allan Cuthbertson, Miles Malleson, and Richard Wattis. What, no John Le Mesurier? Beautifully shot by Oswald Morris, The Man Who Never Was gets a rare wide-screen airing on Fox this morning.

3:45pm Turner Classic Movies
Three Live Ghosts (1936 USA): A very odd second feature indeed, Three Live Ghosts features Richard Arlen, Charles McNaughton, and Claud Allister as Army buddies whose deaths on the battlefields of World War I Europe have been greatly exaggerated. They were actually being held as POWs, and when the trio return to London town, their "resurrection" creates problems for the loved ones who have since moved on with their lives. This film was actually a remake of an early talkie of the same name from 1929 - which featured many of the same cast members, including Allister, McNaughton, and Beryl Mercer - which in turn was a remake of a 1922 silent based on a play by Frederic Isham. Three Live Ghost's happy ending beggars belief, but it's good fun all the same, and reflects the social and cultural milieu in which the play was originally written: a post-war period when the flower of British youth had needlessly gone to their graves on Flanders Field.

6pm IFC
Jet Lag (2002 FRA): See, they DO make popcorn movies in France! Jet Lag stars Juliette Binoche and Jean Reno as travelers who meet cute at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Gay Paree and find themselves stranded by industrial action and bad weather. When a shortage of hotel rooms finds them bunking together for the night, can true love be far behind? There isn't much here that you wouldn't find in a similar film from Hollywood, but Binoche and Reno are always a pleasure to watch, and there's an added bonus in the presence of renowned character actor Sergi L�pez (Dirty Pretty Things, With a Friend Like Harry) as Binoche's jealous old boyfriend. Also airs at 10:10pm and 4/5 at 3am.

7pm Sundance
Millennium Mambo (2001 TAI-FRA): One of those films worth seeing with the sound down (or the subtitles off), Millennium Mambo is a beautifully shot tribute to the face of Hong Kong actress Shu Qi, who portrays Vicki, a narcissistic teenage stripper playing two more mature lovers (Tuan Chun-hao and Jack Kao) off each other. The thin story relies on too many familiar tropes involving sex, drugs, and young-adult angst, but if you like techno music or appreciate gorgeously-lit cinematography (courtesy Pin Bing Lee, who shot In the Mood For Love for Wong Kar-Wai), then you may want to give it a look.

9pm More Max
Peligrosa Obsesion (2004 ARG): I'm getting serious now. Seriously. What (or who) is responsible for the seemingly hard-wired connection between Argentine cinema and American cable channels? There have been a dozen or more films representin' the Pampas on premium channels in the last year. That's as many, or more, than the rest of South and Central America combined. If anyone has a clue, please let me know! As for Peligrosa Obsesion, I can't tell you much, as it never had a theatrical release in the States and isn't on home video. Sez here it's a thriller about a truck driver.

Wednesday 04/05/06

1:05pm Cinemax
Millions (2004 GB): A delightful and atypical feature from the supremely talented Danny Boyle, Millions makes its small-screen premiere this afternoon. Boyle has a bit of a hard-boiled reputation, with grim films like Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, and 28 Days Later on his resume, but Millions proves he's no one-trick pony with its sentimental tale of two British youngsters (Alex Etel and Lewis McGibbon) who find a wad of bound-for-the-incinerator paper money by the railway lines one day. The two must decide what to do with the money, which is about to be rendered worthless when Britain's imminent (though fictional) conversion to the Euro takes place: spend it, stash it, or give it to the poor? Frank Cottrell Boyce's imaginative and thoughtful screenplay avoids falling into the trap of simple-minded bromides, and Anthony Dod Mantle's cinematography is - unsurprisingly - a joy to behold. It's also a great pleasure to see octogenarian Leslie Phillips, who's been on-screen since 1938, in an important role. This marvelous family film also airs at 4:05pm.

5:30pm Showtime
Cowboy Del Amor (2005 USA): And you thought Brokeback Mountain was 2005's only story of bareback, cow-punching love amongst the Stetsons! Okay, I admit I'm misrepresenting this documentary a little, but with a title like Cowboy del Amor, how could I not? It's actually a fascinating look at a unique matchmaking service that transports monetarily well-endowed Yankees across the border, where they can purchase the Mexican mail-order bride of their dreams and save on the shipping. If you can pony up $3,000, you too could find yourself coming home with a senorita in one hand and a green card application in the other. Everyone's a winner! Also airs at 8:30pm and 4/5 on Showtime 2 at 5pm.

10:25pm Showtime Extreme
Streetwalkin' (1985 USA): Streetwalkin' is no classic, but it does have some points in its favor. The film's gritty ambiance is certainly of tremendous value, and the undervalued Melissa Leo (21 Grams) delivers a reasonably good performance as Cookie, a young woman forced onto the streets when she runs away from home and her family refuses to take her back. She's also responsible for her annoying younger brother (Randall Batinkoff) and is soon in the grips of psychotic pimp Duke (Dale Midkiff), who likes to beat his women when he isn't selling them. The film's screenplay, a collaboration between Robert Alden and director Joan Freeman, takes a determinedly feminist stance, with all the male characters basically being scum. Alden and Freeman's only other credit is the nearly unwatchable rock-and-roll fable Satisfaction, which makes Streetwalkin' look like Citizen Kane in comparison. All in all, Streetwalkin' is an interesting exploitation film that belongs more to the sleazy �70s than to the corporate �80s.

Thursday 04/06/06

12:05am HBO Signature
Chiche Bombon (2004 ARG): It's from Argentina. I can't tell you much, as it never had a theatrical release in the States and isn't on home video. Am I repeating myself?

6:30am Sundance
Under Milk Wood (1971 GB): Time was when you could pick up almost any issue of the National Enquirer and get an update on the marital doings of one of Hollywood's most combustible couples, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Truth is you can pick up an Enquirer today, and STILL find out what's up with Liz, though sadly Dick's been gone nigh on 20 years now and is no longer a subject of interest for gossip columnists. Besides being married to each other for the better part of 11 years - a marriage interrupted once by divorce - the two also appeared together in a number of films, of which this is one of the most obscure. Based on a Dylan Thomas play, it's the episodic tale of a day in the life of a Welsh fishing village, with Burton serving double duty as the film's narrator and lead actor. The film hews closely to Thomas' vision, takes full advantage of its Pembrokeshire locations, and features Victor Spinetti, Angharad Rees, Peter O'Toole, and Glynis Johns amongst the supporting cast. Caveat: for some reason, Under Milk Wood got a pan-and-scan DVD transfer in the States, and that's probably the version that's on tap this morning.

Friday 04/07/06

8am Sundance
La Pagaille (1991 FRA-CAN): Need more than one French romantic comedy this week? Et voila, your wish is my command! This one (the title of which means "the mess" in Anglaise) features Remy Girard and Coralie Seyrig as a divorced couple who suddenly find themselves in love again, causing hilarity and consternation for all concerned, as well as the issuance of a fatwa. Director Pascal Thomas specializes in lightweight and warm-hearted comedies, and though this was a commercial flop in France, it's a decent example of the style and rarer than hen's teeth for those of an Anglophone persuasion. Also airs 4/8 at 2:30am.

6pm Showtime 2
Crash (2004 USA): I actually never got around to seeing Crash during its long theatrical run; it was always number two on my list at any one time, and when you're a parent, you rarely get beyond number one (unless, of course, number two happens to be Chicken Little or some such). I therefore can't speak to the quality of the film, which surprised everyone by scooping the Best Picture Oscar out of Brokeback Mountain's saddlebag last month. It's making its small-screen debut this evening in wide-screen, and airs frequently throughout April.

Saturday 04/08/06

Midnight Sundance
Puberty Blues (1981 AUS): One of the least-known films from Aussie director Bruce Beresford (Breaker Morant, Tender Mercies), Puberty Blues is a wonderful coming-of-age drama that definitely deserves the wider exposure it's getting tonight courtesy Sundance. The film revolves around Debbie and Sue (Nell Schofield and Jad Capelja), two aspiring Aussie beach bunnies who try to get in with the in-crowd, only to find that life inside the in-crowd ain't all it's cracked up to be. Based on a novel written by a pair of young antipodean women, Puberty Blues blends feminist philosophy with frank social realism, the end result being a satisfying if rather grim disquisition on the mores and morals of teenagers Down Under. The setting and occasionally baffling dialogue clearly identify the film as uniquely Australian, but the underlying themes are universal and the characters sympathetic. Music fans of a certain age should note that the title song was written and composed by future Crowded House man Tim Finn.

Sunday 04/09/06

7am Turner Classic Movies
Strike Me Pink (1936 USA): I've been sending infrequent e-mails to TCM begging for an Eddie Cantor film festival for a while now, and though I'm not getting the festival, at least I'm getting one film. Strike Me Pink was Cantor's last collaboration with producer Sam Goldwyn, and while it lacks the anarchic brilliance of earlier efforts like Roman Scandals and Kid Millions, it's still great good fun for fans of the saucer-eyed vaudevillian. This time Eddie plays Eddie, a mild-mannered fellow who lucks into a job managing an amusement park after taking a course in self-improvement. He's immediately beset by the strong-arm tactics of the local mobsters (including Brian Donlevy and future Fred Mertz William Frawley) intent on installing their crooked slots on park grounds. Will Eddie end up sleeping with the fishes, or will luck and love save him from a fate worse than fruit machines? Filled with peppy musical numbers by Harold Arlen and luminously shot by the great Gregg Toland (Citizen Kane), Strike Me Pink isn't Cantor's best effort, but it's better than nothing.

9pm Turner Classic Movies
Piccadilly (1929 GB): A long-forgotten silent featuring the beautiful Anna May Wong as a London dishwasher-turned-exotic dancer, Piccadilly makes its American television debut this evening. Released on DVD by Kino Video to little fanfare last year, this is a creaky but fascinating drama that provides a wonderful showcase for the Chinese-American Wong, who would have been a star if not for the deeply ingrained racism of mid-20th century Hollywood. Also on hand are Charles Laughton and an uncredited Ray Milland, who makes one of his earliest screen appearances in a nightclub scene, and if you want to learn more about Wong, pick up a copy of Graham Russell Gao Hodges very fine biography, still available from better booksellers everywhere.

Monday 04/10/06

4:30pm Showtime
Mean Creek (2004 USA): If you didn't get your fill of mean teens in Puberty Blues, save space on your hard drive for Mean Creek, which rapidly sank at the American box office back in 2004. Rory Culkin (younger brother of guess who) stars as Sam, a bullying victim who invites his tormenter (Josh Peck) on a canoeing trip, intending to get his own back and play a practical joke on the insecure lout. Once in the wilderness, however, things go badly wrong when Sam's older brother Rocky and friend Marty get carried away with the plot, and what was meant as a harmless if mean-spirited prank turns into something far more sinister. This is a serious drama about adolescent pain that unfortunately was saddled with an R rating by the MPAA, guaranteeing that many of the film's target audience would never see it. If you're a fan of fare such as Over the Edge or The Outsiders, Mean Creek is definitely worth your attention. Also airs at 7:30pm.