By Chris Hyde

September 9, 2003

You'd think that with the wealth of riches that now appear each week on DVD that I'd be utterly satisfied, wouldn't you? But am I? No. Definitely no. Positively no.

Uh-uh.

The DVD has proved an amazing boon to film aficionados everywhere, with the pace of releases so rapid that it's a bank-breaking hobby just trying to keep up with them. 2003 has been especially ferocious, with every seven-day cycle bringing many seemingly necessary purchases. And yet, there still exist plenty of gems that remain anxiously awaited, my eyes feverishly scouring the future release lists just hoping to glimpse their titles amongst the chaff. This list is in no way meant to be a complete accounting of what I believe to be missing from the medium, but it touches upon many movies that I'd sure snap up in a heartbeat as soon as they hit the shelves. So let's take a look now at some titles that really need to show up in a digital format:

Killdozer (1974) There are many extant made-for-TV films that are really ripe for reissuing, such as Desperate Lives, with a drug-addled Helen Hunt and bad Rick Springfield tunes; Norliss Tapes, with Angie Dickinson stumbling on the black magic rites performed by her dead husband; Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, with its demon-infested Victorian mansion; and The House That Would Not Die, a Barbara Stanwyck Amish country ghost story from 1970. But standing above them all is a 1974 outing based on a Theodore Sturgeon story named Killdozer wherein a tractor possessed by an alien force rises up and takes vengeance on those around it. There simply are not enough crazed farm equipment movies in the world, and a DVD release of this classic would go a long way towards remedying that situation.

Smile (1975) Bruce Dern and Barbara Feldon star in this 1975 satire on beauty pageants, suburbia and the middle class. A biting black comedy look at the mores of '70s Americana by Michael Ritchie, which is also notable for an early sexpot appearance by future star Melanie Griffith.

Rider on the Rain (1969) With the recent passing of great movie tough guy Charles Bronson, isn't it about time for the release of his late '60s collaboration with French filmmaker Rene Clement? By all accounts, this is a neglected, exciting thriller and the fact that the excellent French novelist Sebastien Jabisprot co-wrote the screenplay only adds to its attraction.

Vanishing Point (1971) One of the great car chase movies of all time, Vanishing Point is a no-holds-barred, pedal to the metal outing that sure deserves the digital treatment. A great cast of characters (led by Barry Newman, who's still around for a commentary track) helps make this period piece fire on all cylinders. And in a perfect world, the Special Edition DVD would finally give us a chance to see Charlotte Rampling's deleted hitchhiker scenes.

Night of the Comet (1984) Speaking of period pieces, here's a film from the early eighties that reflects the era of the Valley Girl as well as any. There's no pretending that this mysterious comet/eerie zombie project is in any way a good film, but nostalgia compels me to wish to see its bad hairstyles and listen to its awful synth/drum machine soundtrack all over again. Plus, it's got Mary Woronov in it--that's always a plus in my book.

Shanghai Blues (1984) Tsui Hark's sweet screwball comedy is one of the overlooked classics from the 1980s Hong Kong movie renaissance, and it's truly hard to understand why. Hark is better known for his high flying martial arts pictures, but here he turns his attention to a more romantic tale and the results are both hilarious and touching. The film is helped by able performances by all involved, but especially of note is a wonderful turn by the great Sylvia Chang. If I had to choose a single movie from this entire list to actually make it to DVD, this would be the one I'd pick without hesitation.

Lost Horizon (1973) The early '70s were an era of profligate drug use, and that sort of excess is probably the most likely explanation for how this movie ever came to be made. Someone who must've taken the brown acid seems to have decided that remaking Frank Capra's version of the James Hilton novel with a Burt Bacharach/Hal David soundtrack was a really good idea. It wasn't. A pretty quality cast of actors and actresses looks mostly bewildered throughout the movie as they stumble upon a paradise in the Himalayas, and for some reason much of the music is performed by people with seemingly little talent in this area (why does Sally Kellerman sing so much? Why, why, why????). It's more or less a bad trip overall, but I'd still love to experience the excruciating pain all over again.

Skidoo (1968) Well, while we're on the bad acid trip thing we might as well cover Otto Preminger's bizarre celebrity "comedy." Jackie Gleason plays a gangster who gets dosed and sees Groucho Marx as god. Also appearing along the way in this semi-star studded bit of insanity are luminaries such as Mickey Rooney, Peter Lawford, Carol Channing and Frankie Avalon. And if that wasn't enough, there's also a selection of actors who (like Preminger) played villains on the Batman TV series: Burgess Meredith, Cesar Romero and Frank Gorshin. The plot makes zero sense, and you'll wonder how in the hell it ever got made, but it sure deserves to be preserved for posterity in digital form.

Diabolik (1968) Great Italian horror/scifi/sword and sandals maestro Mario Bava has had many of his films already released to DVD, but we're still awaiting his sexy, pop art super thief film. Given the Hollywood penchant for comic book movies of late, you'd think there might be a market for this Bond- like camp classic that plays like it's leaping off a page of pulp-the visual flair of this film alone should be reason enough to revive it. Not to mention the great Ennio Morricone soundtrack.

Private Parts (1972) Paul Bartel's strange and seedy thriller set in an early '70s Hollywood fleabag. Combining a sharp approach with low budget milieu, this film shows Bartel off as an interesting filmmaker from the very first. As such, this intellectual bit of grindhouse fare undoubtedly deserves another look -- hopefully in a spiffy new special edition with commentary from the esteemed director.

Gun Crazy (1947) One of the world's greatest gangster films, this tale of a wishy washy sharpshooter and the coldhearted woman who twists him to her will deserves special treatment for any rerelease. Whoever owns the rights to this one needs to call up Peggy Cummins IMMEDIATELY and get her to lay down a commentary track on this entire movie as soon as possible. Her portrayal of the femme fatale in this B-movie classic has few equals in film noir, and her thoughts on the role should be recorded for posterity quickly, as I'm quite sure the actress isn't getting any younger. So hop to it, people. Time's a- wastin'.

Hippy Carnage aka Hipijok sal yuk (1973) Well, now this one's probably just a pipe dream, but I'm going to keep hoping anyhow. Park Yoon-kyo is an Korean horror filmmaker from the '70s and '80s, most of whose work seems to have unfortunately disappeared into the void. There were supposed to be four of his films shown at the last Pusan Film Festival, but due to a lack of proper elements I believe that only one was eventually screened. That sort of news doesn't give me much faith that suitable materials can be found for a decent release of his spectacularly titled Hippy Carnage, but once I read that the plot was an eco-driven tale of nuclear waste spawning bird-monsters who eat up hippies and eventually fight super-robots given power by a maid wielding some sort of magic, this movie has become a sort of holy grail for me. I've always needed something to go in a double feature with Godzilla vs the Smog Monster, and this seems just the thing. Can't someone find me a decent print somewhere?

Blue Water, White Death (1971) & The Hellstrom Chronicle (1971) These two nature documentaries come straight out of my childhood screaming for brand new versions. Blue Water White Death is a great pre-Jaws examination of the killing machine that is the great white shark and The Hellstrom Chronicle details the many ways in which insects are truly the dominant life form on the planet. This latter film was considered good enough to win the 1972 Oscar for best documentary, and though it was released to VHS it's out of print and the tape is a pricey acquisition (I've seen it listed at as much as $470!). Surely any movie that can command a price like that for the lousy videotape is worth bringing into a digital form?

The Pleasure Garden (1926) Alfred Hitchcock is one of the most widely revered masters of the cinematic medium, and many of his seminal works are already available on DVD. But we're still patiently waiting for a version of The Pleasure Garden, one of his early silent films, to appear to give us some insight into the initial work of this film giant. Rumor has it that Hitch himself didn't really like to talk much about this movie, so while it's probably flawed, as a Hitchcock completist I'd still like to see it make an appearance once again.

Just Imagine (1930) Surely there's room in the DVD universe for a pre-Code futuristic sci-fi musical? Set in the year 1980, this early sound picture fails to predict phenomena like bad hair or the Me! Generation, but makes a valiant attempt to show what will be in all its technological splendor. Much of the movie's appeal lies in the fantastic sets of a New York to come that were to be re-used in other movies for many years to come, but the hokey musical numbers and sappy romantic plot have enough entertainment value on their own. Won't someone please give us the chance to re-live the Broadway Melody of 1980 all over again?

The Reckless Moment (1949) Could someone explain to me why none of the Hollywood films directed by the great Max Ophuls have made it to DVD? I'd settle for Letter for an Unknown Woman, Caught or Roundabout too, but what I'd really most like to see is this film that was recently remade as The Deep End. The great cast (James Mason, Joan Bennett and Geraldine Brooks), cinematography by two-time Oscar winner Burnett Guffey and the helmsmanship of Ophuls make this one a seeming classic, and yet its profile still remains ridiculously low as far as rereleases go. That seems just foolish to me, and I wish some enterprising company would put an end to these shenanigans and just get it out to the public.

Alice in Wonderland (1976)/Once Upon a Time (1978) Pardon me whilst I pass into XXX prurience and lecherously wish for releases of Bud Townsend's pornographic musical version of Lewis Carroll's classic book as well as the one film that Golden Age porn starlet Annette Haven directed. The former film stars Playboy playmate and soap opera star Kristine Debell (also known for her role in the cockfighting drama Rooster: Spurs of Death!) in a hardcore trip to wonderland. The latter project has some sort of absurd pseudoanthropological plot centering on the sex lives of cave men, but with the classy Annette Haven directing herself there's sure to be enough here to make this adult fare worth a purchase.

Thundercrack (1975)/The Devil's Cleavage (1973) Underground filmmaker George Kuchar has made many bizarre films that deserve a DVD release, but none are so necessary as these two gems. Thundercrack is likely Kuchar's most narratively coherent film, but its completely insane execution and perverse sex mark it as something far more outré than your average megaplex fare. The Devil's Cleavage, on the other hand, is Kuchar's hilarious tribute to the Tinseltown weepie, a melodramatic amalgam that works as both paean and parody.

Miss Tatlock's Millions (1948) There are quite a few good screwball comedies still awaiting their digital debut (Jack Conway's great Libeled Lady comes immediately to mind), but this seeming lost classic tops my want list in the genre. I actually know very little about the film besides the fact that it has Robert Stack and the always excellent Monty Wooley in it, and was directed by noted screen milquetoast Richard Haydn (whose signature role is as Professor Oddly in the Barbara Stanwyck vehicle Ball of Fire). Beyond that I'm not really sure what this one is all about, but a new release would sure clear that up.

Remember Last Night? (1935) In between Bride of Frankenstein and Showboat, director James Whale helmed this blackish comedy about a murder committed at a party that is near impossible for the authorities to investigate due to the fact that the partygoers were so wasted that nobody remembers what happened! With a premise like that and the talents of Edward Arnold, Constance Cummings and Robert Young, this lost nugget would look good in my ever burgeoning DVD shelves.

Chatterbox (1977) Classic California starlet Candice Rialson (who also made appearances in highbrow fare like Candy Stripe Nurses, Mama's Dirty Girls and Moonshine County Express) discovers one day that her vagina can talk and sing. The unique plot alone would make this period piece worth a revival, but for added attraction there's the entertainment value of Rip Taylor as well as cinematography by Tak Fujimoto (who started out on films such as Caged Heat, Cannonball and Death Race 2000 before making his mark with mainstream work such as Devil in a Blue Dress and The Sixth Sense).

Desert Fury (1947) Most classic film noirs are celebrated for their stark black and white photography, but here's one shot in glorious Technicolor that's just as dark as its colorless kin in execution. Director Lewis Allen directed a couple of films that it'd be nice to see reappear (I'd also love to see Dragnet leads Jack Webb and Harry Morgan as gang members in Appointment With Danger), but this desert suspense tale is sure tops on the list. Gorgeous Arizona location photography, Burt Lancaster and Mary Astor, the beautiful and underused Lizabeth Scott, Robert Rossen script, a Miklos Rosza soundtrack...need I go on?

So, there you have it. I could easily go on for thousands of more words given how many movies desperately need to be brought out, but I think the above gives at least a few solid suggestions for the home entertainment divisions to consider. The companies in question can rest assured that if any of the above films are restored and put onto DVD, there will be at least one copy sold. So c'mon and get that remastering started, 'cause I'm just out here waiting. Though maybe now I should get started on all those films already in my "in" box, since that pile doesn't seem to be getting any smaller.