TiVoPlex

By John Seal

January 27 - February 2, 2004

I'll take your Monkeybone and I'll raise you a Get Carter with Sylvester Stallone.

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times PDT.

Tuesday 01/27/04

9pm Turner Classic Movies
The Hospital (1971 USA): A black comedy from the acerbic pen of Network scribe Paddy Chayevsky, The Hospital stars George C. Scott as a depressed head of surgery who has to contend with impotence, a dysfunctional family, and a serial killer stalking the corridors of his titular workplace. Directed by Arthur Hiller (you know, the guy with the crazy hair and the even crazier tuxedos at the Academy Awards), the film co-stars Diana Rigg and earned an Oscar for Chayevsky’s screenplay. Perhaps more timely now than 30 years ago, The Hospital is one of the darkest American comedies ever made, though it can’t quite reach the dizzying heights of Lindsay Anderson’s similarly themed (but British set) Britannia Hospital (1983 GB).

11:30pm Flix
The Devil Within Her (1975 GB): Originally released as I Don’t Want to Be Born, The Devil Within Her is a showcase for the talents of soon-to-be famous Joan Collins, about to turn the career corner in television’s Dynasty. Alas, this is not the kind of showcase you want to include on a resumé that already carries other dross like Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?(1969 GB), The Stud, (1978 GB) and its sequel, The Bitch (1979 GB). Can you imagine a time when general-release movies could have titles like The Stud and The Bitch? Considering the film’s director (Peter Sasdy) and solid supporting cast (Donald Pleasance, Caroline Munro, and Ralph Bates), this tale of a possessed baby who spreads death and destruction from the cozy confines of its pram should be a lot better than it is. Sadly, it’s pretty bad, but it hasn’t shown up on cable in years and has been out of print on video for even longer, so if you’re a horror completist, here’s one for the archives.

Wednesday 01/28/04

1:05am Showtime
The Border (1979 GB): A surprisingly decent Telly Savalas thriller, The Border features the chrome-domed cigar aficionado as an INS agent facing off against a bracero-smuggling coyote whose human cargo regularly makes the treacherous run from Mexico to the United States. Gritty and reasonably realistic, the film spends more time than you would expect on the harsh realities of life as an illegal worker, including some grim slaughterhouse footage. Well scored by the great Stanley Myers and shot by Buñuel’s favorite Mexican cinematographer, Gabriel Rodriguez, this obscure gem offers unexpected social commentary along with its action sequences. Also airs at 4:05am.

10:25am Showtime Extreme
The Honkers (1972 USA): As regular readers know, I’m not a huge fan of westerns, but I’ll always make an exception for one starring James Coburn. This is actually pretty far from being a traditional oater, however, with Coburn playing an egotistical rodeo champ who loses sight of the things in life that matter - his family - in pursuit of more cow-punching glory. There’s also a superb performance from Slim Pickens and terrific rodeo footage for those who like cattle, chaps, and dust. Made at the height of the revisionist Western period (The Hired Hand, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, and many more), The Honkers is another forgotten Coburn gem. Also airs 1/29 at 1:30am.

Thursday 01/29/04

3am Turner Classic Movies
The Boob (1926 USA): The Boob is one of those ancient films rescued from perpetual obscurity by TCM, and while it may not be on a par with Keaton or Lloyd, it's still an entertaining and quite funny film. George K. Arthur is the Keatonesque milquetoast on the trail of bootleggers, and while he lacks Buster's acrobatic skills and doesn't really connect emotionally, he's all right. Charles Murray has some of the film's funniest moments as the perpetually-soused cowboy Cactus Jim, but the film really stands out during some terrific fantasy sequences, including a flying bed scene and a Frederick Remington painting come to life. A genuine discovery for fans of silent comedy.

6:45am Turner Classic Movies
Safe in Hell (1931 USA): Safe in Hell is a cross between Sadie Thompson and The Getaway, with Dorothy Mackaill in stunning form as the “bad girl” who runs away to a remote Caribbean island to escape her past. Director William Wellman delivers another quality picture, and we get to see Nina Mae McKinney's star power on display (including one hot jazz number!). The story is silly, but fans of early ‘30s cinema need to see this.

11am Fox Movie Channel
Hello-Goodbye (1970 GB): I gave a somewhat backhanded recommendation to this film last week. Now that I’ve seen it again, I can report that it’s a bit better than my 20-year-old memories thought it was. Star Michael Crawford, here playing a car salesmen luring Curt Jurgens’ wife into bed, reels in his tendency for broad farce and makes a brave go at playing a straght character. Jurgens is also fine, and male chauvenist pigs who care for late ‘60s cheesecake will appreciate the scantily-clad, occasionally-nude, and ridiculously-buxom Genevieve Gilles as the object of Crawford’s affection. Those of us who prefer less worldy things, meanwhile, will be reveling in Francis Lai’s wonderful score, and bemoaning the pan-and-scan mistreatment of Georges Delerue’s cinematography. Here’s hoping Fox digs up a wide-screen print at some point soon. Speaking of Lai, though, I’m now in the market for a copy of Hello-Goodbye’s soundtrack LP, so if you have a spare copy in your attic, please drop me a line. Also airs 1/30 at 1am.

6pm Starz!
The Quiet American (2002 AUS): Unfairly overlooked on its initial release, this Phillip Noyce film makes its television premiere this evening. Starring Michael Caine as a burned-out journalist holding down a job and a woman in wartorn Saigon and Brendan Fraser as an undercover CIA operative, the film is a brilliant evocation of the early days of America’s involvement in Vietnam’s civil war. Beatifully shot by Hong Kong regular Christopher Doyle and well adapted from Graham Greene’s novel by Christopher Hampton and Robert Schenkkan, the film succeeds best whenever Caine is on screen, his character a bitter, physically decaying metaphor for the past-its-prime British Empire. Also airs at 9pm and 1/30 at 9:30am and 12:30pm.

Friday 01/30/04

5pm Turner Classic Movies
The Rag Man (1925 USA): The world television premiere of this Jackie Coogan comedy also marks the premiere of a brand-new score by Linda Martinez, the winner of TCM’s 2003 Young Film Composers Competition. Coogan reprises his orphan role from Charlie Chaplin’s The Kid (1921 USA) in this tale of the hard-knock life on New York’s Lower East Side. I haven’t seen The Rag Man, of course, but any fan of silent cinema should mark this one down on his/her calendar.

5pm IFC
High and Low (1963 JAP): My favorite Kurosawa film has nothing to do with medieval Japan and is, instead, a throwback to the great director’s early neo-realist phase (e.g., 1949’s Stray Dog). Toshiro Mifune plays a businessman whose son is kidnapped by yakuza, and his frequent film colleague Tatsuya Nakadai appears as the police detective responsible for the case. Shot in brilliant black-and-white Tohoscope, this is simply one of the finest - and most beautiful - crime films you’ll ever see.

8:30pm Showtime
Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy (2001 USA): How did one of the ugliest men alive became a star of hardcore sex films? Perhaps thanks to the everyman qualities of said star, Ron Jeremy, who appears in this documentary about his life as an average Joe who makes good. Or makes countless silicone-enhanced starlets, at least. It’s not a particuarly penetrating film, however, eschewing money shots for interviews with Jeremy and his friends, including Al “Green Party” Lewis, Larry Flynt, and, erm, Seymore Butts.

Saturday 1/31/04

6pm Trio
Rhinoceros (1974 USA): I keep hearing rumors about the imminent demise of Trio, but the spunky little arts channel still seems to be a going concern, and thank goodness; they occasionally offer us rarely aired oddities you can’t see elsewhere. A few months back, they broadcast Dennis Hopper’s amazing The Last Movie, and now Trio offers up the 1974 screen adaptation of Eugene Ionesco’s bizarre stage play of the same name. Worth watching simply for the chance to see Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder together again after 1968’s The Producers, Rhinoceros is a theater-of-the-absurd tale of humankind’s slow transformation into scaly, one-horned quadrupeds. Also featuring the ubiquitous Karen Black and Anne “Throw Momma From the Train” Ramsey, this very strange film arguably features Mostel’s finest screen performance, as he makes the transition from human to rhino sans make-up.

Sunday 2/01/04

6pm Sundance
Elling (2001 NOR-SWE): This week’s speculative pick is a Scandinavian comed/-drama about a pair of socially-challenged, middle-aged men trying to get by on their own after being released from an Oslo mental hospital. Sounds like it’s probably due for a Farrelly Brothers remake. I’m completely unfamiliar with the entire cast and crew of this one, so approach with caution and an open mind.

9:05pm Showtime Extreme
Fulltime Killer (2001 HK): Directed by Johnny To (also responsible for the excellent 1999 gangster flick The Mission), Fulltime Killer stars Andy Lau as a hired gun out to replace co-star Takashi Sorimachi as the city’s number-one gangland assassin. Showtime is wisely airing a subtitled print of this excellent crime drama, which co-stars long-time HK action star Simon Yam. Admitedly lacking in the originality department, Fulltime Killer compensates with brilliantly-shot action sequences and a pair of surprisingly likeable leads.

Monday 2/02/04

12:25am Starz!
The King is Alive (2000 DEN): Perhaps the most unusual of the films produced according to the rules of the Dogme manifesto - and that’s saying quite a bit, of course! - The King is Alive tells the story of a group of tourists stranded in the desert when their bus breaks down. What would YOU do if you were in the middle of nowhere, short on food, and extremely hot? Why, stage an impromptu version of King Lear, of course! Amongst the cast are Janet McTeer, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bruce “Senator Kelly” Davison, and (in one of his last roles) Brion James, so if you were previously scared away from Dogme films by the subtitles, you’ve run out of excuses. Superbly shot on video by Jens Schlosser and well-directed by Kristian Levring, this is wonderful fun for arthouse fans. Also airs at 3:25am.

4:45am Encore Mystery
The Glass Wall (1953 USA): On balance, this is a barely-average drama about an Italian refugee (Vittorio Gassman) trying to find a new life for himself in New York City. For fans of ‘50s cinema, though, there’s enough here to warrant a qualified recommendation. There’s good Joseph Biroc-shot location footage of the Big Apple, Gloria Grahame as a woman who befriends Gassman, and jazz musician Jack Teagarden, as well as frequent Jerry Lewis co-star Kathleen Freeman in a small role. All in all, this rare Columbia programmer is nothing to get overly excited about, though it’s interesting to see the then-recently-completed United Nations building at the end of the film.

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