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3. Torture gets results.

Ever since that whole Abu Ghraib fiasco, there has been constant debate over whether or not the United States should use torture techniques on terrorist suspects as a way to get information out of them. Fortunately, Transformers: ROTF has answered that question with an unqualified yes. When Megan Fox captures a little Decepticon who is spying on her, she needs to know what he's up to, other than getting new photos for the Decepticons' Megan Fox up-skirt website. Asking him nicely isn't gonna work, so she goes to the next logical step: blasting his eye off with a blowtorch. Immediately, he gives in and tells her everything he needs to know. Clearly after watching Transformers: ROTF, nobody will have any problem with getting information from terrorists by water boarding them, electrocuting them, and making them watch Transformers: ROTF.

4. The government is full of cowards and liars.

Somewhere in the Bible there's something about the truth coming "out of the mouths of babes," but I'm pretty sure that Jesus or whoever was misquoted, and what he actually said was that truth comes "out of the mouths of Decepticons!" When the Decepticons decide to reveal themselves to the world, they hijack every television in the world and the first thing they say is "your government has lied to you!" Is it a coincidence that the second before this line is said, a picture of Obama is shown on the television. The connection is pretty obvious, people. The Decepticons, like the birthers and the teabaggers, are unafraid to tell the truth. A few minutes later, a news report is describing the panic that has descended upon the world and how the government is reacting. Is Obama manning the front line like Bill Pullman did in Independence Day? No, it is explicitly stated that Obama has gone into hiding. The message is clear: if John McCain had been elected president he would be out there punching Megatron in the face.

5. The French are gross and obnoxious.

Because at this point, the conservative movement has boiled down to cheering on Sarah Palin and taking digs at the French. There are no Sarah Palin references in Transformers: ROTF, unless she's meant to be represented by Starscream (actually, that works), but there's an entire scene that's just about how gross and obnoxious the French are. Shia LaBeouf's parents are vacationing in France and trying to be sophisticated. In a scene lifted directly from the Olsen twins movie Passport to Paris - I'm not kidding - Papa Witwicky bemoans how gross snails are. Mama Witwicky, trying to be the more cosmopolitan of the two, tries a bite of escargot, but admits that it is disgusting. That's when a mime jumps up to the table, antagonizing Papa Witwicky and being generally irritating. French culture, like everything else in a Michael Bay film, is boiled down to its most simplistic and obvious traits, and everyone knows that France is just a bunch of snail-sucking mimes.

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