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Zeus Carver

I suppose I could be the only one, but I genuinely enjoy Die Hard With A Vengeance. The movie’s not perfect (the first hour of the film is really great, but once Jeremy Irons’ character dominates by being visible, instead of just a voice on a phone, it slows down a bit), but one of the many things that works is the combination of Bruce Willis as John McClane and Samuel L. Jackson, who’s going to show up on this list again, as Zeus Carver, the unassuming yet tough pawn shop owner who ends up ensnared in the deadly game of Simon Says McClane has to deal with. Zeus is introduced as a shrewd customer, a denizen of Harlem in the mid-1990s who knows full well about the problems he and his family would have to deal with when the cops come around. He’s honest, but you wouldn’t want to cross him. I can’t see him getting involved in another life-threatening action story, but I do have an idea for a story.

You’ve probably heard of, if not seen, Lean On Me, the movie about a tough high school principal played by Morgan Freeman, and the forceful tactics he uses to get his point home to the troublemaking students in his school. It’s pretty clear to me that Zeus Carver, while not being as physically imposing (at least in the third Die Hard movie, where Jackson manages to make him seem tough, but not nearly as scary as most of the characters he tends to play), would put the fear of God in the kids in his neighborhood. He’s already gotten his nephews to do so in the beginning of the movie, so why not a whole story about the world of hurt he’s got to bring down on the gangs in Harlem after his exploits with John McClane? Zeus is just another bad son of a bitch, and you don’t want to mess with him, guys.

Lando Calrissian

I know that we’re all asking for trouble by going anywhere near the Star Wars franchise, but if there’s a character we could follow forward after we’ve all said good-bye to Luke Skywalker, Leia, and Han Solo, it’s gotta be Lando Calrissian. I realize that, thanks to Billy Dee Williams being about 30 years too old to play the part anymore, this could never happen. But Lando was as roguish as Han Solo, and just as much a bad-ass. I’m not sure I’d want to see Luke Skywalker again; despite being a great Jedi, he was a bit too whiny even as an adult. Han will be too busy with Leia, and anyone who has seen the Star Wars Holiday Special knows that putting Chewbacca as the lead is a bad idea if you don’t speak Wookiee. So why not Lando? We could go back to Cloud City, or anywhere else Lando chose to hang his hat.

I can’t say what the plot would be, but I have two further suggestions. The first is obvious: George Lucas would only be involved as a producer, and a figurehead producer at that. Lucas created an amazing world in 1977, but The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi prove that he’s not the only one who can make the world believable. Keep him out, aside from writing and signing the checks. Here’s the other suggestion: don’t hesitate to recast Lando. Williams is too old, and who could fill his shoes? One name, folks: Donald Glover. If you’ve been paying attention this week, you know that Glover, a co-star on Community and ex-writer from 30 Rock, has been lobbying on Twitter and Facebook to audition for the reboot of the Spider-Man series. There’s been some hullabaloo about the idea (I’m all for it, not just because he’s talented; why not a black actor?), but if it doesn’t work out, he’d make an awesome Lando Calrissian. Essentially, let’s make Donald Glover a star, huh?

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