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This weekend brings the opening of one of the most anticipated films of the year: The Social Network. Directed by David Fincher, written by Aaron Sorkin, featuring a cast of up-and-coming actors (and all-around superstar Justin Timberlake), and based on Facebook, which is only one of the most popular websites on the Internet, it would seem like The Social Network is either going to be a huge success or a huge failure. Based on the early reviews, it’s a huge success. With the exception of one critic so far (you get three guesses on who, and the first two don’t count), pretty much everyone who’s seen The Social Network is in love with it. Like Inception, Toy Story 3, or Scott Pilgrim love. So, be prepared for the oncoming backlash from people who don’t like ecstatic raves.

That aside, if the movie’s a commercial success, you know what you can expect from Hollywood in the future: copycats. We’ve seen, in years past, plenty of TV shows and movies that exist solely because of something more popular, something that felt original. The question is not going to be what movies rip off The Social Network, but how quickly it happens. There’s already been a story about a movie retelling how Google was formed, but I’ve got a better idea. In fact, I’ve got five better ideas, all revolving around the same website: Twitter. Twitter is quickly becoming as popular and accessible as Facebook. I check it every day…oh, who am I kidding? I’m on it all the time, as much as I check my mail or entertainment news. Twitter is the next natural cinematic property, and today’s A-List discusses five potential, big-budget smash hits. Let’s get to the list.

The Status Update

If you’re not currently registered on Twitter and don’t know much about the site, I want to first congratulate you. You’ve made it back to civilization and chosen to read Box Office Prophets to acclimate yourself with society. What a wise choice! Twitter is a website where you can update your status in 140 characters or less. Here’s my first idea for the Twitter movie: the story is shown in a typical, linear storyline. We meet the creators of Twitter, find out how they grew up, how they ended up deciding to go with this idea for the website, how they got successful, how the site became a go-to place for regular folks like you and me, and celebrities ranging from actors to directors to sitting heads of state. What’s the catch? Every single person in the movie speaks…in 140 characters or less.

I know what you’re thinking: with the state of some big-budget blockbusters these days, what’s the difference if the characters only speak that much per line? And, sure, some of the dialogue would be easy enough to craft without sticking to the 140-character-or-less rule. However, it’s not so easy when you want your characters to express themselves in more than just rote responses, something like “Yeah” or “OK”. The script for The Social Network, for example, notably written by Aaron Sorkin, has been lauded above all else. The dialogue the characters have is witty, intelligent, verbose, and lengthy. Imagine the restrictions on the Facebook movie if the dialogue had to be that short. Who would write this version of the Twitter movie, which I’m calling The Status Update? For quick, terse dialogue, there’s only one man for the job: David Mamet. Sign him up!

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