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The special guest judge this week is Kim and my beloved cooking show host, Ming Tsai (way to shake off that Next Iron Chef misstep, Ming!) as well as Thomas O’ Brien, a Target home designer. I am convinced that his presence there is simply to remind viewers that Target sells home furnishings, so I hate his ass face for disrupting Carla’s mean preparations. The blatant shill may have eliminated one of this season’s most deserving players. It’s nothing personal, Thomas. Whore less, Bravo TV.

The first dish of the evening is the most accomplished in terms of technical skill. Richard is the only chef to prepare a pair of true entrees, porker tenderloin and braised pork ribs. Anthony Bourdain and Richard agree that the dish isn’t pretty, but it does taste quite good. This is not a challenge where aesthetics matter, so he’s probably going to wind up on the top half of the contestants tonight.

The dazzling revelation of this particular competition is Dale’s dish. Remember those irons I mentioned before? He had a purpose in mind for them, something that is mad scientist-ish. Remembering his days as a broke college student, Dale has decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I am already won over by this, because this was my favorite comfort dish growing up, the one my father would make for me when he was home from work. Dale boosts the creativity by using the iron to toast the bread, giving it a great crunch. All of the players were told to use anything in the store to cook their dishes. Dale has taken that premise to its logical extreme. As Ming Tsai notes, Dale must be trying to become an “iron chef”. Ming must not be over that Food Network reality show loss yet.

Carla’s soup is not an absolute train wreck, just nothing noteworthy. Everyone comments on how slight the dish, noting the absence of a protein as its undoing. She would have happily added one if she’d had the time, I’m sure. At least she isn’t scolded by Padma, though. Mike describes his spicy coconut soup as featuring fresh coconuts. Padma queries how he found fresh coconuts (way to point out the limited fruit stocks of Target!) and when he says he didn’t, she says the ingredients are therefore not fresh. What I have learned from this is that Target sucks.

Antonia always delivers a daring dish as she correctly deduces that a breakfast-ish meal would be just as good a choice as late night stoner food. Her parmesan eggs put a song in Bourdain’s heart. Tiffany is less fortunate as her “jambalaya” dish suffers the same fate as Richard Blais’ cookie. It is not a jambalaya in the estimation of the judges, which makes her dish a failure. Tom describes it “okay”, meaning that it probably won’t be enough to get her sent home. Angelo is less fortunate. His baked potato soup is salty to a point of fault. The judges universally dislike it, which may be the salvation Carla needs.

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