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Sadly, Hathaway has promised the government something he can’t deliver, and has also been siphoning government funds to build himself a posh little country estate. The government runs out of patience, throws down the gauntlet and gives Jerry weeks - not months - to invent a 1.21 Jigawatt Death Ray for the military or he stands to lose his funding AND his house. Needless to say, Jerry is in a little bit of hot water. He’s clearly not quite brilliant enough to design the laser himself, so he does what any good Bond villain would do. He gets himself some henchmen. Enter Mitch Taylor (Gabe Jarret) and Chris Knight (Val Kilmer).

Mitch is a 15-year-old science prodigy who specializes in lasers. His parents are dumber than half a box of rocks covered with gravy but young Mitch has earned himself a full ride at prestigious Pacific Tech college under the tutelage of Dr. Hathaway. He will be working with Chris Knight, a senior and fellow prodigy who happens to be one of the greatest scientific minds in America. He’s also a massive hothead and inveterate womanizer. Think of Nick Rivers from Top Secret crossed with Iceman from Top Gun. If you feel a light bulb going off over your head, it’s because both of those characters were awesome AND played by Val Kilmer. Who is also awesome. Coincidence? I think not.

While Jerry is busy picking out drapes for his house, the kids are supposed to be working on the “laser”. While Chris is busy partying his face off, Mitch is doing just that - much to the chagrin of fellow team mate Kent (Robert Prescott), who fancies himself Jerry’s right hand man. Kent is the token D-Bag necessary to every college comedy. Think Neidermeyer from Animal House. Think Stan Gable from Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah. He’s that guy. Kent is jealous of Chris and Mitch’s superior intellect, and while he can’t get to Chris, he does everything he can to intimidate and humiliate Mitch. It’s an ugly game the kids are playing at Pacific Tech, and while all this is going on, the clock is ticking on Jerry’s death ray.

So by the second act, here’s the score. Jerry is in trouble with the spooks at the Pentagon. His plan to farm out the laser to his unsuspecting students is going haywire because Chris is short timing his last semester, Mitch is cracking under the pressure and Kent is a D-Bag. Jerry is forced to threaten Chris with his diploma, which forces Knight to sympathize with Mitch. Both are brilliant, driven kids who have been used by everyone around them, and robbed of their childhood. Up to now, they’ve been unaware that they were working on a weapon and when they discover they’ve been used yet again, they hatch a brilliantly over the top plan to get their revenge and keep Crossbow from seeing the light of day.

As Terrell Owens would say, “Getcha popcorn ready”.

Mich needs a friend more than he needs a mentor and Jarret - who hasn’t worked much since then - imbues his character with a believable mix of childlike conviction and adolescent angst. Val Kilmer can do contempt for authority in his sleep, but underneath his rebel veneer Chris Knight needs a purpose and Kilmer provides a surprising level of depth to a character that doesn’t necessarily need any. Kent and Jerry are jerks, just as they should be. Special commendations go out to Jonathan Gries as Lazlo, a mysterious graduate student who lives in Chris’ closet. His role is a small one that doesn’t require a master thespian, but you can’t talk about Real Genius without talking about Lazlo. Michele Meyrink is nothing short of delightful as Jordan, a hyperkinetic fellow student who plays Mitch’s love interest.

There’s not much else to say. Real Genius is a well made, well played standard issue “haves” versus “have nots” comedy with a twist. It never stops being funny, hits all the right notes and the visual effects, by the way, are outstanding. It gets lost in the shuffle of similar '80s flicks, perhaps because it’s not as uproarious as Animal House, and less of a hit than Revenge of the Nerds. It is, perhaps, for that reason I feel it my duty to remind the world of Real Genius, and insist that you help me pass the torch to a new generation. As Chris Knight might say, it’s not a choice - it’s a moral imperative.

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