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2. The Rob Lowe/Snow White Debacle

There is no doubt, however, that the Rob Lowe/Snow White number is one of the most infamous in the telecast history of the little golden man. What exactly the producers were thinking is unclear. What is clear is that the woman who had the unfortunate “luck” to land the role of Snow White at the Oscars (a seeming dream job) was so distraught by the disdain with which this number was received that she essentially quit the business entirely.

I assume that I do not need to describe this moment, but just in case, in brief: the producers of the 1989 telecast decided it would be a good idea to mount a pastiche of song and dance featuring Rob Lowe and a dancing Snow White. The last featured the two singing a reworked version of Proud Mary, with stodgy references to the film industry. Neither musicals nor Snow White nor Disney had anything to do with the movies that were up that year. Nor, as far as I can tell, was it any significant anniversary of that movie.

All that one is left to assume is that the people behind this mock-worthy number used the same drugs that Palance and Brody did, but then had a bad trip when they mixed them with something else. Or something. The dancing was bad, the lyrics were bad, and the outsized costumes and props were bad. This is perhaps the lowest point in modern Oscar telecast history.

1. The Streaker

“The only laugh that man will ever get in life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings,” was co-host David Niven’s brilliant reaction to a naked stranger running across the stage during the 1974 telecast. This moment is iconic for at least five reasons.

The first is obvious: someone streaked the Academy Awards. Not some boring Mets/Phillies game. The Oscars. Again: One billion people. And it happened moments before Elizabeth Taylor was set to take the stage to announce that The Sting had won Best Picture that year.

The second should be equally obvious: could you even imagine seeing this ever again? I can’t. Like most events of its kind, the Oscars probably vet and vet again all the people behind stage, and have the security of a death-row prison to keep strangers out. That plus the few second delay ensures that nothing quite as racy will ever again be seen on live television. Delicious then. Impossible now.

The third is that Niven’s reaction was priceless. So many potentially iconic or controversial moments have been dulled by the lame reaction of the Oscars crowd: which is normally to boo people who dare step outside the mainstream. Thus, Sacheen Littlefeather got booed off the stage. Instead, Niven showed his natural wit and charm by reacting immediately to the unscripted moment with a real quip of his own.

The fourth is that the streaker represents a freeze frame of a long-gone moment of American cultural ethos, one that we simply would never see today. At the height of the sexual revolution, of the pissed off masses, of the protesting youth, this guy brought it home to the place that always tries to insulate itself from such happenings. The Oscars are supposed to be neutral and celebratory (a dubious and self-serving proposition to say the least) but this guy brought the protests of the outside to their backyard in a memorable way. Indeed, the story of the man behind the infamous act is nothing short of fascinating, if tragic: he was a political activist and artist, and was murdered in the course of a robbery of his art gallery - the first in the country to focus on art by gay individuals - a few years after the show.

And, fifth: Nudity. Need I say more?

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