New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

Into this mess stumbles a young couple named Burt and Vicky (bet that’ll look good on a wedding cake), who are passing through on their way to Seattle. Burt (Peter Horton) is a highly motivated medical intern and aspiring doctor. Vicky (Linda Hamilton) is a thoughtful and considerate partner who sighs passive-aggressively when she wants to pressure Burt into committing to a long term relationship right in the middle of the biggest professional transition of his budding career. As we meet them, Burt seems like kind of a jerk and Vicky needs a valium.

While consulting their map and laughing about how much they hate corn, Burt accidentally runs down a child who darts out of the fields into the car’s path. It becomes clear they have a mystery on their hands, as the child appears to have been viciously slashed with a knife. He would have died anyway, which is of little comfort to the horrified young couple. But, hey - at least they have something else to talk about besides their relationship. They collect the body and a suitcase he was carrying, and head into town to find a phone.

They stop at a service station outside Gatlin, where they’re warned off by the crotchety old owner, who specifically tells them that the townspeople are religious fanatics who don’t like outsiders. That seems like a good tip, and Bruce is more than happy to comply. But through an unfortunate combination of GPS not having been invented yet and Evil Corn (more on that later), Bruce and Vicky end up driving their blood spattered car straight into Jonestown anyway.

They happen to arrive in right about the time Isaac starts preaching specifically about a man and a woman – a pair of “outsiders” – who would soon roll into town. Per Isaac’s instructions these “unbelievers” are to be “brutally murdered” as “sacrifices to God” when they arrive. Yes, you can see where this is going pretty early on. There’s nothing subtle about Children of the Corn, and just about every major plot development is telegraphed early on. If you can’t tell exactly how this movie is going to end by the halfway mark, I suggest you take paint chips out of your diet.

So if it seems like events have conspired specifically to draw Burt and Vicky to Gatlin, you wouldn’t be far off. Something stupendously evil is going on in Gatlin, but involves more than just Isaac and Malachi, the Lord of the Flies vibe hanging in the air, or the endless rows of murder-corn that surround the town. There’s something bigger behind Isaac. He’s well spoken and clearly spent a lot of time reading the Bible, but he’s not acting on his own ideas. And whatever power is motivating him is the same thing that’s behind the living hell our bland, bickering young couple are about to experience.

Once in Gatlin, they find the town to be deserted aside from one or two kids who explicitly tell them what has happened, but because kids are dumb, Bruce and Vicky don’t realize the danger they’re in until it’s too late. The mystery isn’t really in whether or not Burt and Vicky are going to get into trouble, because of course they are. They’re in a Stephen King movie, trapped in a small town full of creepy kids whose sole source of entertainment is painting the walls red with the blood of adults. We KNOW what’s coming. No, the mystery is in what the hell is up with young Isaac and the mysterious forces that seem to do his bidding?

Continued:       1       2       3