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I'm a big fan of the BOP “Book vs. Movie” column, but I've often found that it has one major flaw: it's about books. If you live in America, you probably don't like books. Why would you? You have to read them. I hate reading, which is why I don't read anything. In fact, I've never even read any articles in the BOP “Book vs. Movie” column. So what's the solution? Compare movies to other movies. And considering all Hollywood makes anymore are sequels, remakes, and movies that are blatant ripoffs of older movies (Wasn't The Killers just a less clever version of True Lies?), there are plenty of movies to compare to other movies.

It's not easy being green, especially when you're trying to save the world. And yet somehow, two chromatically-themed superheros hit the silver screen this year, kicking ass, taking names, and painting the town, well... green. But these two crimefighting bro's have a lot more in common than their desire to defeat evil and their affinity for a specific hue. Despite how drastically different these two movies are in scope, style, tone and budget, Britt Reid and Hal Jordan are like peas in a pod... Cause they're both green... get it?

The movies in question are this spring's The Green Hornet, which could be retitled “I Have Daddy Issues,” and this summer's The Green Lantern, which could be retitled “Everyone Has Daddy Issues.” The first is a quirky buddy comedy with splashes of Batman thrown in for good measure, starring slimmed-down frat pack star Seth Rogen and directed by longtime Charlie Kaufman collaborator and general weirdo Michel Gondry. The second is a special effects extravaganza summer blockbuster starring “hey, isn't he already in a superhero movie” Ryan Reynolds. Although they sound very different, they have a lot in common, mostly because they're both pretty terrible. But which is more terrible? Let's break them down, step by step, to find out:

Origin

Hornet is based on a 1930s radio series that was created as a modern take on The Lone Ranger. Britt Reid is a newspaperman who fights crime at night with the help of his assistant/sidekick Kato. His hook is that he embraces the role of an outlaw as a way of getting actual criminals to trust him. Then, when their defenses are down, he strikes them like some sort of... unusually colored stinging creature, or something.

Hal Jordan is technically the second Green Lantern, as the comic book series was rebooted in the 1960s. Jordan is a test pilot who was selected to replace the last Green Lantern for the section of the universe that includes Earth. Chosen because of his fearlessness (and abs that you just want to lick chocolate off of), Jordan is made a member of the Green Lantern corps, and given a magic ring that corporealizes anything he wills into being. It's a pretty bitchin' super power, even if the ring needs to be charged more often than an iPhone.

Both heroes have a lot of history on their side, but I do love me some radio serial dramas, so I have to give the point here to Hornet.

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