The Grey
Release Date:
January 27, 2012
On the Big Board |
| Position |
Staff |
In Brief |
| 5/5 |
David Mumpower |
As much as I love Liam Neeson, this movie is a glorious mess of botched existential crises. |
| 9/12 |
Les Winan |
Surprisingly good. Europeans should be happy Liam Neeson took a break from killing them to go after wolves. |
| 21/169 |
Max Braden |
I was pleasantly surprised - Neeson managed to squeeze every poignant drop from what should have just been a typical action movie. |
Wolves. Oh how we all hate them. Wolves represent everything that is terrible in nature. They are smelly, furry beasts who wait in our forests and attempt to prey upon our people. Well, our people who are too stupid to come in out of the cold and stay inside where it’s nice and warm and there are walls and roofs to protect us from the elements. And wolves.
Until this very moment, you may not have realized just how much you despise wolves but now you do. Now you realize that wolves are lurking outdoors, anxiously anticipating that moment where you let down your guard, lay down in the snow and remove your scarf, thereby creating the neck vulnerability requisite for a wolf to rip your throat out. Don’t think that it won’t happen someday. Just to be safe, you should buy thicker scarves.
I have good news for those of you who are wolf haters, though. Humanity has something that wolves lack. Wolves may have thick hides and razor sharp teeth but they lack that which we have: Liam Neeson.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the movie world has taken a vote and the silent majority has spoken. We will release Liam Neeson into the wild and he shall destroy mankind’s greatest opponent: wolves. Liam Neeson will enter The Grey and when he arrives, there will not even be a wolfpack of one remaining. The extermination of all wolves begins with the release of The Grey. Liam Neeson will slay the enemy and he shall make wolf fur the must-wear fabric of the 2012 winter season. (David Mumpower/BOP)
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